


Home

by thesketchytepe



Series: Home [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-12
Updated: 2017-07-07
Packaged: 2018-10-03 05:35:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 18
Words: 41,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10237013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesketchytepe/pseuds/thesketchytepe
Summary: Armin Arlert has the lifestyle of a typical college student whilst Annie Leonhart is living on the streets: homeless, cold, and all alone. When their different paths finally meet, they discover each other's strengths and flaws and beautiful brains. The two soon discover from their experiences together that "home" doesn't necessarily have to be a place--it can be a person instead.





	1. Runaway

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Sketchy Tepe is here with her first fanfiction piece! This is going to be a pretty lengthy story about Armin Arlert and Annie Leonhart from the amazing anime Attack on Titan. These two blonds are my number uno OTP so of course I have to write about them first. I'm almost done with this story and I'll try my best to update a chapter every Sunday until the story is completely published (although I'm thinking about writing a sequel but we'll get there later). WARNING: I've rated this as Mature because the story tackles some pretty deep and serious stuff including subjects and actions of self-harm, mental illness, strong language, and references to sex. If you are uncomfortable with these topics, then please don't make yourself read this; I've tried making this story as realistic as possible so that's why there are many dark subjects in this story. Also the characters in this story ARE NOT MINE; they belong to their creator Hajime Isayama so don't sue me.  
> Nevertheless, thank you SO MUCH for just considering to read this piece! I welcome any sort of criticism or different ideas you may have for me; I wish to write for the rest of my life so any sort of help is appreciated. Anyway I'll shut up and let the story speak for itself.

She’d been watching him walk home every day for quite some time now.   
Annie couldn’t help it—the stranger had a routine. He would hop off the one o’clock bus with two companions, a boy with emerald green eyes and a girl with long charcoal black hair, and they would walk into that little coffee shop Annie had been eyeing for a while (for reasons she didn’t know). After about thirty minutes, the boy and his friends would depart from the café and then go their separate ways, Emerald Eyes and Charcoal Hair strolling down the sidewalk while the boy stepped into the city’s library which happened to be right next to the coffee shop. Roughly two hours would pass before the boy left the building and continued on his way home.   
A shudder ripped through Annie’s spine as she watched the boy’s figure disappear from her line of sight. Winter had arrived early this year, icy winds and piles of snow beginning to appear in the middle of November. Annie usually enjoyed the chilly season but right now, as she sat alone in the empty alleyway and struggled to keep her hands warm, she wasn’t a big fan of it.   
Nightfall flooded the sky pretty quickly as did the flow of traffic on the streets. Cars honked at each other and people sped-walk while clutching their heavy jackets, trying to hurry home to where warmth, food, and a bed laid.   
For Annie, warmth was her thin white hoodie, food was whatever was edible in the nearest trashcan, and her bed was usually made up of something cold and concrete.   
The small blonde closed her eyes for a moment. She was glad no one noticed her. She always tried her best to avoid any human interaction; she wasn’t sure why though. Reiner has told her countless times that she’s just antisocial, that she’s probably afraid of people because they’re apparently all stupid, selfish, and cruel. It was obvious that Reiner’s feelings toward people were negative but Annie had to internally disagree.   
She wasn’t scared of people—no rush of anxiety attempted to crush her lungs every time she saw a person. She just…had no desire to speak with them.   
Her minute of peaceful silence, however, was rudely interrupted when she felt someone breathe in her face. And it wasn’t the playful but harsh blow that flew from puckered lips nor the comforting and reassuring feel of someone exhaling lightly against her skin. It was the kind when the oppressor opened their mouth wide and released hot and suffocating air right in the center of her face (and it didn’t help that this bully’s breath smelled unpleasant either).   
She squeezed her eyes shut and struck out her foot, coming in contact with something hard and firm. Her clear blue eyes frowned at the all-too-familiar homeless man in front of her, back against the brick wall, rubbing his muscular chest while chuckling lowly to himself. He looked over at her, grinning mischievously. “Damn, Annie. Is it your time of the month already?”   
A twitch of irritation stabbed her gut. Reiner had the body of a 30-year-old body builder but had the brain development of a 13-year-old. He was 6”1’ of pure muscle with short platinum blond hair, small baby blue eyes, and barely visible eyebrows. He was wearing his usual dirty brown jacket that he stole from another homeless man about a month ago, faded blue jeans, and big bulky snow boots. Annie continued to glower at the ignorant mountain as he fetched a grey beanie out from his jacket pocket and tucked it over his thick skull, that smug grin never leaving his lips.   
“It was a joke,” he clarified, “you know that, right? So that means you can stop glaring at me like I just killed a man.”   
Annie raised one of her eyebrows at him, causing her to wonder about such a thing. She wasn’t completely sure if he actually killed someone, probably not. Despite his friendly teasing and sociable attitude towards everybody, Annie figured he would be the type of person to cause pain on others to get what he wants, though.   
She saw a large hand reaching out to her out of the corner of her eye. Glancing up, she realized it was another one of her acquaintances: Berthold. He smiled shyly at her and said quietly, “Hi, Annie.”   
A short moment of silence passed among the three of them. Annie stared at Berthold’s fingerless-gloved hand and then back at his dark, puppy-dog eyes before pushing herself off the brick wall, ignoring the timid man’s hand. She brushed a strand of her lemon-colored hair out of her eyes and stuffed her own snow white hands into her hoodie pocket, aware of Berthold’s eyes still on her.   
Berthold was the exact opposite of Reiner in almost every single way, which had its pros and cons, in Annie’s opinion. He had a good few inches on Reiner and was much skinner than the giant jock of a man. He had a long face and softer features like his lengthy nose and anxious eyes. He awkwardly shoved his hands in his jeans pockets, his broad shoulders raised to his chin. This painfully shy man usually followed Reiner around despite the trouble they’d always cause. It was usually small things, however, like stealing a few snacks from the gas station or getting into fights with other homeless people. Annie trailed after them too, participating in most of their dangerous activities. She knew it was wrong, in society’s eye anyway. But sometimes you just had to do horrible things to survive—that’s all the trio seemed to know.   
“We found an awesome place to spend the night,” Reiner announced, taking a step toward the other two broken souls. “Came across a girl today, had a nice chat. She’s homeless too—thrown out of her own apartment ‘cause she couldn’t pay rent. But anyway, she’s got a place and guess what? It’s fucking indoors.” He broke into a wide smile with a hint of amusement gleaming in his eyes.   
Annie turned her head to peer at Berthold, who gave a simple nod in her direction. She couldn’t blame him for his excitement—it’s been awhile since they found shelter that involved four walls and a ceiling.   
“Who is this girl?” she inquired, speaking for the first time that day.   
Reiner shrugged his abnormally large shoulders. “Don’t know. She didn’t say her name.”   
The small blonde shifted her weight onto one foot. Reiner groaned loudly, knowing exactly what this seemingly innocent action really meant. “Listen, Annie. I wouldn’t have taken up on this offer if I didn’t trust this girl. And if she doesn’t turn out to be the person who she says she is…then we’ll take care of it.”   
She stayed silent while her eyes rested on a half-eaten apple core behind Reiner’s feet. Why was Reiner so eager to trust strangers? They were in a bad position, yes, but that didn’t give him permission to jump on every proposal that came flying toward them.   
The next thing she knew, something heavy slung around the girl’s shoulders, causing her to stumble a bit. Reiner’s arm squeezed her shoulders and began guiding her toward the crowded streets. “Why don’t we just go so you can see her for yourself, princess? Do tell us if this other homeless person is trustworthy, oh Annie the Great and Powerful!”   
A bubble of fury exploded in her stomach as she ripped away from Reiner’s grasp, her infamous icy glare piercing into his soul, it seemed. “Don’t fucking touch me.” The tone in her voice reminded Reiner and Berthold of a demon crawling out from the deepest pit of hell.   
Berthold sped up his walking pace a bit while Reiner raised his hands in surrender, muttering “Fuck, okay fine, geez…” under his breath. Annie strolled behind the two giants, silently agreeing to meet this homeless girl with indoor shelter—supposedly, that is. Annie didn’t know how these two idiots could easily put all their trust into one unknown person. If she learned anything from her past experiences, it was to never trust anyone with your life, or even to let them in for that matter.   
The three frostbitten bodies shuffled pass other frozen bodies wrapped tightly in heavy clothing, hurrying about. Annie crossed her arms and gripped her sweatshirt, struggling to brace against the whipping wind. Several people and vehicles would cross her path but she would always find the familiar oval-shaped head of Berthold looming over everybody else and would direct her route towards him.   
Soon enough, they came to a stop in front of an old abandoned building. The structure itself was well-hidden from the rest of the bustling city; placed in a quieter part of town where nothing but crumbling apartments and shady houses surrounded them. Judging by the shattered windows and the graffiti walls, Annie guessed this place had been uninhibited for some time. If it weren’t for the rusted sign that hung next to the bloody red door, the trio would’ve never predicted this place had once been “Three Walls”.   
Three Walls was a small bar that closed down about ten years ago. Annie remembered it as being the tainted escape that people of high importance went to like lawyers and policemen, including her own father. Apparently there were many bar fights and the drunk policemen did nothing about it. Eventually customers stopped going there once a new bar entitled “Rightful Ruler” opened up a few streets down.   
Annie wondered if her father was there now.   
“Are you sure this is it?” The words slipped from her chapped lips before she could swallow them down.   
“Yeah.” Reiner stepped up to the door and turned halfway to grin at his uncertain friends. “She taught me a secret knock so she’ll know it’s us.”   
Annie rolled her eyes and Berthold pursed his lips together.   
Reiner faced the door again and tapped his knuckles against the wooden door twice, paused for two seconds, and then added another knock. Within a short moment, the door peeked open slowly, forcing a loud groan to echo throughout the nearly empty road. A face suddenly appeared in between the crack of the door and the threshold—which Annie couldn’t see clearly since Reiner’s huge body was blocking her view.   
“Hey,” he greeted. “It’s me and Berthold again. And I brought her, just like I said.”   
The door opened a little wider and Annie could make out a tall figure with a white long-sleeved shirt on. “Hey! It’s you! The two titan-sized boys I met earlier.” A head poked out from beside Reiner’s shoulder. “Too bad your friend isn’t titan-sized. More like a hobbit, really.”   
The taller blond stepped to the side, revealing this homeless girl he saw earlier in the day. She was tall and slender, though a little bulkier than Annie despite the tough muscles her body contained. Her greasy, mud brown hair was pulled back into a short ponytail and her small almond colored eyes narrowed in on the shorter girl. Small blotches of freckles powdered across her nose and cheeks and she possessed the same snarky grin that Reiner owned, unfortunately.   
Annie could tell already that she wasn’t going to get along with this girl.   
“You must be Annie,” the girl continued, leaning against the doorframe. “What’s up?”   
She scowled and said nothing.   
“Whoa, whoa. I can sense your enthusiasm all the way over—”  
“Reiner said you offered us shelter,” Annie interrupted.   
She put a hand on her hip. “Yes I did. I guess this is the part when I say ‘you guys look cold, wanna come in?’” She then opened the door as wide as it could go and stepped to the side, that smug grin still plastered on her face. The three acquaintances walked inside and gazed around the vacant room.   
Off to the left was the actual bar, two bar stools still standing by but all the bottles of vodka no longer there. On the right was a small but wide platform—probably where a band used to play. The rest of the room was completely bare besides some broken glass scattered about the hardwood floors and one lonely wooden chair sitting in the far left corner.   
“Like my place?” the girl asked, closing the door and strutting over behind the bar. “Sorry, no alcohol was left behind when Three Walls closed. A real shame.”   
“As long as the heater’s working, I’m good,” Reiner said, already taking off his jacket. Annie was starting to feel the warmth too, now an unfamiliar feeling to her.   
“Yeah. Found the furnace and fixed it myself.” She looked up at Berthold. “Is the heat reaching all the way up there?”   
Berthold nodded shyly, his cheeks reddening from the heat—or was it embarrassment?   
“Who are you?” Annie questioned, making her way through the room cautiously, making sure to not step on any of the glass.   
“The same as you: a girl tryna get some damn sleep for once.” She laughed after this, throwing her head back like it was the funniest thing in the world.   
Annie stopped and looked at her. Her glare must’ve been sharper than usual because the freckled girl laughed harder.   
“Damn! You just can’t take a fuckin’ joke, can you? Ha, ha, ahhh…well, if you must know, you may call me…” She put a finger to her chin in mock thought. “…Ymir.”   
Reiner and Berthold raised their eyebrows at the unusual name but Annie simply placed her fist on her hip and said, “Ymir? Like the mythological creature?”   
The girl pointed at Annie with a somewhat surprised look on her face. “Hey! You actually got it!”   
“Wait, what?” Reiner glanced between the blonde and the burette. “What does ‘Ymir’ mean?”   
Ymir looked up at him. “It means two things. One: In Norse mythology, Ymir was an evil ice giant that basically made the earth with his body when he was killed by the great Odin and his brothers. And two: I don’t trust you either. It’s a codename.”   
Everyone faced the bar, eyes on Ymir. She looked back at them. “What? It’s clear that you guys don’t trust me and the feelings are mutual with me.”   
“Yeah, but you don’t need a freakin’ codename unless you have something to hide,” Reiner replied.   
For once, Annie agreed with her teammate.   
Ymir shrugged. “Don’t we all? Besides, you should come up with better lies if you want to convince me you’re completely innocent yourselves.”   
“What do you mean?”   
“When we met earlier, you told me that you two—” here she aimed her pointer finger at Reiner and dragged it through the air to Berthold “—were roommates that got kick out of your apartment for not paying your rent and you said your ‘sister’ was in the same situation too.” Her finger then stabbed at Annie.   
Annie had to bite her tongue in order to keep herself from accusing Reiner of coming up with such an idiotic excuse as to why she was homeless and needed shelter as well.   
“You two obviously don’t look anything alike! Look, I’ll believe you when you say you and Colossal over there were kicked out of your apartment but her…” Ymir’s narrowed eyes lingered on Annie. “She looks like a fucking mess.”   
Before the blonde could say or do anything, Ymir continued on in a mean and mocking tone. “Aren’t you gonna share how you got those scars on your wrists or what the hell happened to you that made you want to run away—”  
“Why don’t we keep our histories to ourselves?” Annie spat, anger boiling deep within her. “We’ll call you whatever you want, as long as we stay here and you don’t ask me about anything. Or better yet, let’s not talk at all.”   
Ymir grinned. “Sounds fine to me.”   
After that, Annie tugged on the cuffs of her white sweatshirt, spun around, and stormed over to the lonely chair in the corner of the bar.


	2. Chapter 2: Dreamer

He’d been feeling her watch him walk home every day for quite some time now.   
The stare that lingered over him wasn’t necessarily bad—he didn’t feel threatened. It wasn’t that kind of stare that bore into the back of your head, the kind that wished for nothing but your absolute failure. Instead, this stare felt curious, maybe even a little bit concerning at times. Almost like an angel was watching him.   
Sometimes he was lucky and would sneak a peek at his…stalker? Watcher? Bystander? He wasn’t sure what the proper word was. He always saw a small, huddled form sitting in that empty alleyway across from the Springer Café. He never caught a good look at her face but knew she usually wore a dirty white sweatshirt and ripped up jeans. His chest would constantly knot up whenever he looked away from her, his pity swimming over to her in crashing waves. Homeless people usually walked around the entire city, begging for money or whatnot. But not this one. She always stayed there and never asked anyone for anything. How strange.   
Armin’s eyes adverted from the shivering girl guiltily as he, Eren, and Mikasa exited the small café. He gave a small wave toward the duo before making his way into the Rose Library. The all-too-familiar feel of warmth spread over his body as he stepped into the quiet library. A smile curled up upon his lips when he came within Miss Ral’s line of vision. She returned the friendly gesture.   
“Why, Mr. Arlert!” she greeted in a hushed tone when he came to a stop at the spotless counter. “Nice to see you again! It’s been a full twenty-four hours since I saw you last! How’s life been to you?”   
“Hello, Miss Ral—”  
A dramatic sigh escaped from her tiny pink lips. “How many times must I tell you, Armin? You can call me Petra! We’ve been seeing each other ever since you went into Rose University two years ago. I think we’re at that stage where we can call each other by their first name now.”   
Armin chuckled lowly, his smile spreading even more. “Sorry. I’m still working on that lab report for Miss Zoe.”   
“The one where you have to write your opinion on the treatments of schizophrenia patients in the 1950s compared to present time?”   
“That’s the one.”  
Petra giggled. “Boy, that’s a mouthful.” She then reached under her desk and pulled out three different books. “I saved these from yesterday. Figured you’d want them again.”   
His arms automatically reached for the heavy textbooks that contained knowledge of the human brain, different mental illnesses, and all sorts of different treatments. “Yes. Thank you very much.”   
“Miss Zoe is starting to take you under her wing sounds like. She’s a tough teacher and you’re the only one I know that gets A’s on all her reports and tests and all that jazz.”   
Armin shrugged. “She’s a little…complex, I agree, but she teaches in such an enthusiastic way that it’s hard to not pay attention.”   
“Well…she’s awfully cheerful about her work so I guess that’s a good thing.” There was a moment of hesitation in Petra’s eyes, almost like she was expecting the energetic professor to pop out and give a lecture on Erikson’s stages of development.   
The blond laughed to himself and started to head in the opposite direction, to where both empty and occupied tables sat. “Thanks again, Miss Ra—I mean, Petra!”   
“Not a problem, Armin.” She wiggled her fingers at him and proceeded to type away at her computer.   
Armin was able to find a round table near the center of the room and sat his things down. He planted himself at a chair, cleared his throat, and flipped open the first textbook.   
It was true, Miss Hanji Zoe had grown a liking to Armin and his brilliant brain. She would give him her theories on particular cases of mental illness studies and other fields of sciences. She complimented him, saying he was blessed with such a gift as his fast-learning skills and memory storage and careful attention to detail. She was absolutely thrilled to discover that he wanted to become a professor of some sorts though he wasn’t sure which field he wished to teach others. So, of course, Miss Zoe encouraged him to go into psychology, the same as her.   
When Armin told his best friends this, they were both as equally as reassuring. “You’ll do great in anything,” Eren told him. “Your brain is big enough for the both of us.”   
“That wouldn’t be the case if you paid attention to your studies, Eren,” Mikasa told Eren firmly, though with a hint of gentleness.   
“You’re not my mom, Mikasa!”   
The usually stoic girl would turn to Armin with a small but all the while hopeful smile. “Do whatever you want to do. We’ll stick with you and your decisions, no matter what.”   
Armin grinned at the heartwarming words.   
Although he wasn’t sure on what career he wanted for himself, he did know one thing he wanted to do: to travel the world.   
It had been a childhood dream of his, ever since his grandfather first showed him a book of the world and all the wonders it held. The pyramids in Egypt, the castles in Ireland, the ancient statues in Japan. Everything was so unique and interesting in their own way! But one thing caught his eye, more important than the rest: the big, blue sea.   
It didn’t matter what beach it was or what part of the world he was in; he just had to experience the ocean, one way or another. Unknown creatures roamed there and waves flew with the current, sometimes birthing a raging storm.   
He loved it all, every danger and every haven. It was all a wonderful mystery to him that he had to decode.   
After his usual 120 minutes were up, Armin packed up his belongings, returned the books to Petra, and exited the library. Almost as soon as he stepped out into the below freezing weather, he felt those acquainted pair of eyes looking over him.   
He was tempted to finally glance back at the homeless girl and give a smile or a wave, something to acknowledge her presence but something told him that wasn’t the thing to do. And so he continued on, fighting against the whipping wind.   
It only took about 15 minutes to walk to his apartment, despite the slowly growing traffic and the rapidly setting sun. Utter relief came to him once he locked his apartment door and switched on the lights. He then proceeded to remove his winter jacket and long grey scarf, tucking them into the tiny coat closet. An hour or two then passed of him preparing and eating a tuna sandwich, taking a quick shower, reading a chapter of the new book he was reading, finishing up other homework before he finally settled down into bed.   
His eyes momentarily glanced at the white door across the living room—the other spare bedroom. Eren used to live with him when they purchased this apartment together though he only stayed for about 7 months before choosing to live in a dorm room at Maria University (Armin didn’t blame him in the least; it usually took Eren an hour or so to get to and from school). Mikasa also went to Maria University with him, for her sake or Eren’s he wasn’t sure. All he knew is that Eren wanted to enroll into the military but his mother insisted that he should at least go through 2 years of college before plunging into something so dangerous. This was the path Mikasa decided to follow as well.   
As he laid down in his bed and hugged himself with the comfortable sheets and covers, all that was on his mind was how happy he was for Eren—but also at how silent the apartment seemed to be.   
MR. SMITH WILL NOT BE HOLDING HONOR’S CALCULUS TODAY, NOVEMBER 12TH   
Armin read the typed note that was taped onto the classroom door. His shoulders slumped a little at the news. Of course he was concerned for the well-being of his teacher, but he was a bit disappointed at not learning calculus today (it was one of his favorite subjects).   
Hitch and Boris, two of Armin’s classmates, sluggishly walked over to the door just as he walked away. He then heard them hiss “yesss!!” under their breath and high-five each other.   
The short blond didn’t know what to do with the next 2 hours until he had to meet up with Eren and Mikasa. Maybe study in the computer lab? Grab something to eat in the cafeteria? Should he call Marco and see if he wanted to hang out? These thoughts jumped around in his mind as his booted feet guided him off campus and deep within the city. He looked around, nothing in particular catching his—   
Armin’s ocean blue eyes came to rest on someone he thought he recognized. They were small, smaller than him. Their hands were fumbling in their bright hair, attempting to put it together into some sort of messy bun. The figure was strolling over to a road less traveled by, where it was dark and lonely and sometimes dangerous. And then, without thinking, he jogged to catch up with them once his brain processed the acquainted dirty white sweatshirt and ripped up jeans.   
“E-Excuse me!” he called out, slowing to a stop about 2 meters from her. She paused and turned her body sideways to look at him. Suddenly, it seemed impossible to speak.   
The girl’s hair was shiny with grease and hung lowly in her face, curtaining half of it. Her eyes were as clear and blue as the ice that plastered the streets and buildings which, in a way, made them sharp but soft. That was also the way to describe her facial features: her jawline was straight and her chin was pointed and her nose created a nice, triangular shape. But her chapped lips were thick and full, her blonde eyebrows were thin and still, and her cheekbones were high and smooth.   
Even with her oily hair, sickly pale skin, or bright red nostrils (a telltale sign that she was suffering from a flu of some sort), Armin couldn’t help but to be caught breathless by this girl’s unique beauty.   
As he was about to pull his lips back in a genuine smile and open his mouth to greet her properly, the blonde girl narrowed her eyes and startled Armin by saying “What the fuck do you want?”   
The boy visibly flinched at her harsh words. He must’ve been marveling at her longer than he thought, for a glint of impatience sparked in her eyes. Now Armin was a master of words, having the rare ability to present the perfect response in almost any given situation, however, being under the influence of the nameless girl’s intense but enchanting glare, for the first time he didn’t know what to say and was left blubbering like an idiot.   
“I-I’m sorry! It’s-It’s just that you, uh, you seem f-familiar. You see-seem familiar to me?” He wasn’t sure why it came out in the form of a question. He knew she was the same girl that he’d seen in that empty alleyway so many times. Was her death glare confusing his statements from his questions?   
“I-I mean, do you, like, um, often visit the, um, uh…” He squeezed his eyes shut in frustration. Why did he suddenly forget the name of the café that he literally went to everyday? Connie’s parents owned the business, for goodness sake! How could he forget his own friend’s last name—  
“Springer’s Café!” The boy’s eyes flew open to their original widened state, glad he finally remembered the coffee shop’s title. But disappointment quickly replaced that emotion when he realized that the girl was walking away.   
“Uh! W-Wait!” He jogged to catch up with her, his messenger bag bouncing against his hip as he did so. She didn’t stop, however, so he was forced to keep the same determined pace as her.   
“I-I’m sorry to bother you miss, but, you’re the one I always see sitting outside of Springer’s Café…” He trailed off once he saw the sideways glance the girl was giving him. It was hard and pointed, almost like she was accusing him of being the stalker.   
“…right?” he finished nervously.   
She said nothing. Her eyes were focused on the path ahead of her and her lips were set into a disinterested frown. Was she already that annoyed by his presence?   
Laughing anxiously with his fingers combing through the hair on the back of his head, Armin weakly cleared his throat before continuing his attempted conversation with this unknown girl. “Uh, anyway, my name’s Armin. A-Armin Arlert. What’s yours?”   
A moment of awkward silence passed by before she responded dully: “Annie.”   
Her voice was low and raspy like cotton balls were stuffed into her mouth. But a warm and wondrous smile slowly etched across Armin’s face at her reply. Annie… It was a common name which meant several parents out there probably loved how you breathed out the “Ann” and let the “ie” roll off your tongue like maple syrup. The name was Dutch, if he remembered correctly, and meant “graceful”.   
Of course, he wouldn’t tell her that. Not yet anyway.   
“Hi, Annie,” he said, still smiling. “Where are you heading?”   
Probably just realizing that he was still following her, Annie came to a sudden halt on high alert, like an eagle when sensing its prey. Armin staggered a little bit when he stopped with her. “That’s none of your business.”   
The boy turned to face the girl. Her eyebrows tilted downward in the shape of a V and her glare was as sharp as a steel knife. He smiled brightly at her, but there was no doubt in his mind: he was absolutely terrified.   
“Well, you’re walking into a sketchy part of town and I just thought…well…” He fidgeted, shyly rubbing his jacketed forearm while he felt the blood rush to his cheeks. “…if it would be okay if I went with you.”   
Annie rolled her eyes. “I am more than capable of handling myself.” She was about to turn a corner, about to step into darkness, when Armin unknowingly took a hold of the departing girl’s wrist, bringing her to a pause.   
“Wait! I—!” His hand quickly retreated once he saw her lethal eyes strike at him, irritation and impatience practically dripping from her eye sockets like angry tears.   
“What do you want?”  
Armin fumbled around in his messenger bag, going as fast as he could. His clammy palms pocketed his small wallet while his bony fingers shifted through its insides. He then gripped his objective firmly: a wrinkled twenty dollar bill. The desperate boy held out his money toward the homeless girl, his gaze softening at her stringy hair and much too thin hoodie.   
“Please take it. You need it more than I do.”   
A moment of silence slipped in between them just like the drifting snow that now fell from the clouded skies. Annie stared at the offering with wide eyes as if she’d never seen money before. She glanced back up at him and for a second, just a second, Armin thought he saw something like gratitude flicker across her features. But, as rapidly as it had come, the pleasing emotion disappeared and was replaced by her typical annoyed expression.   
She roughly shoved the cash back into his chest and stepped away from him. “I don’t need your charity or your help,” she hissed under her breath. And with that, the runaway did what she does best and left the dreamer behind, leaving him wondering what he did wrong.


	3. Daddy's Girl

She could feel her shoes filling up with cold water as her feet stomped on the melting snowflakes that now littered the streets. Her bright red hands, trembling slightly, grabbed the back of her hoodie and brought it up over her head. Stuffing her hands inside her pockets, Annie felt the boy’s navy blue eyes gazing at her as she continued to walk away.   
Although she’d never admit it out loud, Annie was actually kind of surprised and a little confused at the boy’s (what did he say his name was? she thought it started with an A…) generous offering. She can’t remember the last time someone had given her money, much less a stranger. And besides, she didn’t need any money—as long as she was breathing, she was fine.   
It only took another two minutes for Annie to get back to Three Walls. She creaked opened the door and slammed it shut with an impatient huff. Just as she was about to push off her hood, the short blonde heard loud, thundering footsteps marching towards her from behind. Her survival instincts kicked in as her small body turned to face the threat and grip their bulky figure in her tiny fists and flipped them over her back like they were nothing more but a ragdoll.   
With one foot in front of the other, back arched, and fists high above her head, Annie peered down at the groaning man by her feet and then deepened her frown when she realized who it was.   
“Reiner?” she muttered, lowering her guard with her usual aggravated expression on her face.   
“Ugh, fuck, Annie.” Reiner slowly sat up, grasping at his back like how an old man would. “I think you broke my back…”   
“That’s what you get for trying to sneak up on me, dumbass.” Reiner laughed and Annie walked away, making her new destination the bathroom.   
“It’s not my fault!” She heard her companion get back on his feet. “You didn’t do the secret knock!”   
She rolled her eyes. Ymir, or whoever the hell she was, insisted on using the particular knocking pattern she showed Reiner the other day. “Just in case” was the excuse she had given her when she asked why they needed it. Her blonde eyebrows scrunched together in deep thought. What was that supposed to mean? Just in case what happened? If it wasn’t obvious before, it was perfectly clear now that the ice giant wasn’t who she said she was.   
“Whatever,” she muttered lowly and continued on her way over to the girl’s bathroom, praying that Ymir wasn’t there. Just as the thought passed through her mind, Berthold passed by in front of her, clutching a broom in his giant hands.   
“Oh!” He jumped a little at the sight of her, visibly jolting while his face turned a beet red color. “A-Annie! You’re back…”   
She didn’t answer his remark; probably because the sound of another guy stuttering at her was starting to get on her nerves. “Is she here?”   
He appeared confused at first but then quickly realized that “she” was Ymir. “No. She went out a while ago.”   
“Where?”   
“I-I’m not sure exactly. I think she said she was getting some food.”   
Annie’s eyes glided down to the broom that Berthold held close to his chest like he was the frightened little girl that found the tiny spider in the corner of her room. His own orbs followed hers to the object in his hands and then snapped his head back to her.   
“I was going to clean up the glass off the floor…” His voice was so quiet she had to strain her neck forward in order to hear him correctly.   
Without giving him much of a response, she stepped pass Berthold’s stiff figure and strolled down the narrow hallway and entered the ladies room, making sure to lock the door behind her.   
Because she was already deep inside the bar, the heat of the working furnace was starting to get to her so she peeled her sweatshirt off, exposing her black sports bra to the empty restroom. She hung the piece of clothing over a stall door and stood there for a moment, her back facing the cracked mirrors, her eyes pointed at the beige colored tiles.   
A small but shaky breath creeped out from her lips. It was getting harder and harder to do this. Maybe if she turned around quickly it wouldn’t be as bad. Well, she didn’t have to look, did she? Suppose she could just close her eyes and…   
She frowned at herself. Quit wasting your time and grow up, Annie! Just fucking do it already. Remember that no matter what you do, nothing will ever change. So just…do it already.   
Her chipped fingernails dug into her palms as she held back an exhale, bringing her eyelids to a close. Her worn-out sneakers shuffled bit by bit until she knew her back now faced the olive green stalls. Her brain reminded her to breathe and she obeyed. Ever so slightly, her eyelids rose and she saw the thing she dreaded most.   
The Female Titan.   
Annie hated her. She’s tried to make peace with her in the past, offering small smiles and promises of better days, but not once did she ever put in effort to change. The Female Titan wanted to be a ruthless killing-machine, show no mercy, never let the enemy escape. She lived through her father’s words which would echo in her mind in endless whispers: “Treat the world as your enemy” and “When they say they hate you, when they call you a monster, I’ll stay by your side.” The statements were supposed to be comforting to ten-year-old Annie when they were spoken the first time but all she recalled was the pain that shot through her calf when she was ordered to kick a tree and the overwhelming stench of whiskey that lingered on her father’s breath whenever he screamed in her face.   
She originally thought the Female Titan showed up around that time during her lifetime but, now looking back, she believed that the monster has always been there, waiting in the dark. Perhaps she was born with Annie—did she tell her to let her mother bleed to death on the day they exited the womb?   
Maybe so.   
Annie’s eyes narrowed in on her reflection in the mirror, on the Female Titan. She could also be the reason as to why her father loathed her so much. For the longest time Annie assumed that he was only strict and demanding of her because she lived when his wife did not. But then again what if he sensed another presence about her? Something wrong, someone evil?   
At that possibility, Annie’s teeth clenched together as she walked up to the fractured mirror, gripped the sides of the sink, and leaned forward, her face inches from her inner demon. They watched each other with unwavering gazes and plans of extermination in mind. And then Annie parted her lips into a menacing grimace and whispered with a poisonous tongue, “I hate you.”   
The same confession poured from the Female Titan’s mouth and Annie realized that not only did they share the same mission—to destroy the other’s life—but she finally understood that sooner or later one of them would have to lose.   
She quickly aimed her eyesight at the sink below her, heartbeat speeding up at that previous thought. She fished out the tiny bottle of shampoo she stole from the nearest 7-11 out her back pocket. All without looking back at the mirror, Annie untied her bun, turned on the faucet, spilled the coconut scented shampoo onto her palm, and began washing her hair.   
The water was cold as it splashed against the back of her neck and flowed into her stringy, blonde hair but she didn’t care; she stood there with her head in the sink for a good ten minutes. When she finally decided that she was done, she shut off the faucet and straightened herself up, tailbone leaning against the edge of the sink. She used her pale fingers to comb through the tangles in her hair and then waited for it to dry, her eyes and thoughts wandering.   
For some reason, she suddenly remembered that boy she ran into not too long ago. His stammering voice and boyish looks stuck to her memory the most. She recalled his round face, making him look a lot younger than he actually was. His equally circular blond hair curved his around his head well. Besides his thick eyebrows, all his facial features were soft and kind—small but pudgy nose, perfectly pink lips, peachy skin, and those wide, ocean blue eyes. His appearance alone reminded her of the innocence and purity of a child, like he had nothing to hide.   
Wouldn’t that be nice? Annie thought to herself, her dislike for the boy growing.   
Time passed when Annie finally decided her hair was dry enough to put it back up into a half-ass bun and slipped inside her sweatshirt. Double-checking to make sure the cuffs were pass her knuckles, the disturbed soul walked out the restroom and joined her comrades out in the bar.   
The rest of the day consisted of mainly staying indoors, Berthold occasionally sweeping the floor or dusting the shelves silently while Reiner poked fun at Annie (she wondered whether he was just too stupid to realize what she could do to him or if he secretly had a death wish). Ymir arrived a little before the sunset; she had her pockets stuffed with all sorts of goodies. She tried to hide the fact that her pockets were bulging with multiple items by scurrying to the back without saying anything and with her eyesight aimed straight ahead. After a moment she returned and gave them each a small package of chips with that same snarky grin she always sported. Annie knew, without a doubt, Ymir stole everything that she brought in through the front door. But once she heard her stomach cry out in hunger she greedily devoured her meal.   
And it was only when Annie settled into her lonely wooden chair in the back corner to call it a night did she realize that she didn’t make it to that alleyway to watch the blue-eyed boy walk home.


	4. Just Wondering

Armin set his pen down, flexed his fingers, and then leaned back in his chair. More people were filling up the café as the day wore on, as did the strong smell of coffee. He poked his phone to check the time: 1:02 PM. Eren and Mikasa should be here any minute now.   
The blond boy crossed his arms and let his eyes rest on the world history homework before him. After his encounter with the mysterious homeless girl, with Annie, he stood there on the sidewalk and watched her go. When the shadows had swallowed her whole, he sluggishly turned around and headed for Springer’s Café. He sat down at his regular table in the middle of the coffee shop and patiently waited for his friends to show, quietly working on his schoolwork.   
Now that he wasn’t caught under Annie’s spell, Armin began thinking of her with a clear and rational mind. To put it mildly, she was rude. And had a foul mouth. But, then again, he had no room to talk. He had clean clothes and access to food and a home to go to. She didn’t. One thing puzzled him still, however: why did she refuse his money? He wanted her to take it; she was in desperate need of it but she actually shoved his offering back at him like it was poison. Why would she decline help so strongly when she clearly required it?   
A loud and startling clatter rang throughout the coffee shop, making everyone (including Armin) jump in surprise. All heads whipped toward the sound and were met with a frantically waving hand from behind the counter, plastic cups spilled everywhere.   
“It’s okay, everyone!” a voice called out, feminine and casual. “I just dropped a few things. Everything’s okay!”   
Just then, Connie Springer ran out from a backroom and stopped dead in his tracks when he saw the mess before him. “What the—Sasha!!” He reached down and grabbed the swaying hand and pulled it up. “What did you do??”   
“Ugh…” Sasha dusted herself off and tightened her ponytail. “Well, I’m fine by the way, but here I was, minding my own business, washing some dishes y’know…” Connie stared at her with wide and frustrated eyes, somehow still surprised that Sasha was capable of creating large amounts of destruction. “…and then this huge spider came along and tried to jump me so I—”   
“Wait, there’s a spider in here?” Connie anxiously looked around the counter.   
“Yeah. It was about this big.” She spread her thumb and pointer finger an inch apart.   
“Is it dead?”   
“Well, yeah it’s dead. I just freakin’ karate-chopped its ass!” She indicated to the clutter she made. “Wait…you’re not scared of spiders, are you?”   
“No…” Connie took one giant step backward.   
Sasha laughed loudly. “You are! I can’t believe it!”   
“Hey! Spiders can be very dangerous, you know…” Connie noticed Armin still staring at the duo (everyone else had looked away at this point). “Right, Armin!?”   
The said boy blinked. “Um…I really don’t know much on spiders—”   
“But there are spiders out there that can kill you, right?”   
He shrugged. “I mean, there are poisonous ones—”   
“HA!” Connie shouted in Sasha’s face. “Poisonous. That’s never good.”   
“But those live in Australia with the rest of the world’s biggest, scariest, and most dangerous animals!” Sasha snapped her head towards the nerd. “Right, Armin?”   
He frowned. “You guys need to stop dragging me into your pointless debates.”   
“What’s pointless?”   
Instantly knowing who the voice belonged to, Armin glanced over his shoulder and answered his best friend: “If spiders are dangerous or not.”   
“Well, yeah they’re dangerous—end of discussion.” Eren Yeager tugged off his backpack and sat next to Armin. Mikasa, who trailed in behind Eren, sat across from the blond and nodded toward him in greetings. Armin smiled in return.   
“Thank you, Eren!” Connie acknowledged, helping Sasha pick up all the cups off the floor.   
“Oh, you guys are a bunch of babies!” Sasha playfully threw a cup at Connie’s head. The shorter boy glared at the chuckling girl, shook his head, and then mumbled under his breath, “Someday, someway, you’re gonna make my parents go out of business.”   
“Pssh! Your parents love me!” The two strolled into the backroom all the while tossing plastic cups at each other.   
Armin couldn’t help but grin at the pair. Sasha began working at Springer’s a few weeks ago and Connie couldn’t be happier. The best friends were always seen together (often causing mischief, however) and the café suddenly became a more likable place to be.   
“Why are you here so early, Armin?” Mikasa asked him, breaking him from his thoughts. “Did something happen in one your classes?”   
“Uh, yeah. Mr. Smith canceled calculus today,” he replied. His hands started grabbing at his papers and books and filled up his bag once again, making room for his companions. “It was unexpected too, so I wandered around town for a bit and…” He trailed off when he recollected what he did next.   
“Hey…” His tone changed to one of curiosity, which Mikasa took note of right away (Eren only noticed when his adoptive sister knocked her knee against his own).   
“Huh? What?” He looked up from his phone blankly, glancing between Mikasa and Armin. “What’s wrong?”   
“Nothing. It’s just…” Armin watched his friends firmly. “Have you seen a blonde girl sitting outside the café lately?”   
The siblings paused, exchanging confused glances. “Who?”   
“Oh, uh, her name is Annie. She has bright blonde hair and light blue eyes. She, um, usually sits in that alleyway across the street—been there for a few weeks actually. Do you know who I’m talking about?”   
Mikasa looked thoughtful. “I think so. Does she wear a white hoodie?”   
Armin nodded gladly. “Yes, she does.”   
“I haven’t seen anybody.” Eren looked at his best friend. “So what, there’s some girl watching you leave the café every day?”   
“I guess you could say that…” Although he wouldn’t use those particular word choices, in Armin’s opinion.   
At that, Eren raised one of his dark eyebrows and his lips lifted into a sly grin, leaning toward Armin almost mockingly. “Oh, really?”   
Suddenly, Armin’s face felt like it was on fire. “E-Eren! It’s not like that!”  
Eren laughed at his friend’s reaction, nearly hitting his head on the table. “Ha, ha! I know, Armin; I’m just giving you a hard time.” He straightened up. “But seriously—why are you asking about some stranger?”   
He shrugged, still blushing a little on his cheeks. “I’m not sure exactly. Just wondering I suppose…” That was a half-truth, really. Yes, he was wondering about Annie but for a specific reason. When he spoke with her earlier and looked into her ice coated eyes, he noticed how unbelievably sad she seemed. He swore he had never seen so much sorrow in one’s facial features without them sobbing hysterically. He desired to know the reason for her unhappiness—and to somehow change it for the better.   
“Well, after we’re done here, we can go see…uh…Anna?” Eren asked uncertainly.   
“Annie.”   
“Annie! I knew that, I swear!” Armin snickered as Eren waved his hands in front of him, also trying to hold back his laughter. Mikasa, however, didn’t appear as interested as the two boys were. She said not a word though; if she had learned anything about her childhood friends, it was that they were very friendly and outgoing young men who were always willing to meet new people.   
The trio sat and talked and drank coffee for the next twenty minutes before packing their things to leave, waving to Sasha and Connie on the way out. Armin was the first one outside and his eyes tried to peek at the alleyway across the busy street. It was a little difficult to see it clearly with all the cars speeding in front of him but there were occasional pauses where he plainly saw that Annie wasn’t there.   
Armin tried to ignore the sinking feeling in his stomach as he felt Eren’s presence come up behind him, his head whipping around like a bird. “Alright. So what does she look like again?”   
“She’s…not here.”   
“What?”   
He gestured to the vacant alley. “She usually sits over there but…” He paused. “…not today I guess.” He let out a small chuckle to convince Eren and Mikasa (and himself) that this unpredicted absence didn’t affect him too much.   
Mikasa’s face remained emotionless at the news while Eren’s lips tilted downward in an obnoxious frown before shrugging one shoulder. “That’s alright. Maybe she had something to do. Or maybe she found a place to stay for the night, if she’s lucky.”   
Armin’s eyebrows rose at Eren’s suggestion. He hadn’t thought of that. He prayed that was the case, that she had found shelter somewhere so she wouldn’t have to spend the night shivering and alone.   
“Yeah, you’re probably right. Thanks anyway. I’ll see you guys tomorrow!” And with that, Armin waved goodbye to his friends (Eren waving back with much effort, Mikasa simply raising her hand in parting) and made his way home.   
For a moment, Armin considered going over to his grandfather’s house for a while. He had enough time because he didn’t have to go to the library for all his homework was already done. He felt bad for not visiting recently; studying for exams had taken up most of his time. A quick glance at his phone told him that his idea may not become a reality. The old man was reaching ninety and Armin felt the need to prepare for a visit to his grandfather’s home. He had a tendency to tell detailed stories about his parents and his days in the army during World War II (which Armin could never get enough of; though that wasn’t good in the middle of exam time).   
So he made a mental note to check on the veteran sometime soon.   
The boy finally arrived at his destination and was relieved to feel the room’s familiar pair of warm arms wrap around him. After removing his winter apparel, he went to continue with his daily routine when his feet came to a stop in the middle of the living room. He just remembered that he had two extra hours all to himself. What was he to do with all this free time?   
His eyes wandered over to the inactive fireplace in the corner of the room. He probably used that thing once since he and Eren had rented the apartment; there was just no need for it. He wished someone would use it every now and then so it wouldn’t be a complete waste…  
And then he thought of her, of cold and alone Annie.   
Millions of questions ran through his mind at once. How long has she been on the streets? Are her family members looking for her? Is she truly alone? She looked awfully thin—when was the last time she had a proper meal? And oh how white her skin was and how red her nose seemed and how her bones shook when the wind blew! How…how was she still alive?   
Armin closed his eyes and ran a hand through his hair. Why was he thinking about this stranger all the time? It hasn’t even been a full twenty-four hours! Besides, no matter how strong the urge to help her was, the girl made it pretty clear that she didn’t need him (or anyone, really). But still, the overwhelming desire to assist Annie was practically pouring out of him in rivers. He really wanted to change those hard, crystalline blue eyes into soft, sparkling ones.   
The energetic boy decided to go along with his instincts and help the poor girl. He moved around the apartment, searching for anything that could be useful for Annie’s sake. Well, frankly everything in here could be useful to her, Armin thought to himself dumbly. But he wanted something that would be more helpful than a twenty dollar bill. His old winter jacket maybe? A paper bag stuffed with a water bottle and a ham and cheese sandwich perhaps? Or what about some cold medicine for her flu?   
It took some time, but Armin finally invented up a plan for his next encounter with Annie. He didn’t have school the next day (it was Saturday) so he thought he’d walk around town and try to find her somewhere in the depths of the active city. He stopped mid-chew on his ramen noodles. To go out of his way to look for a girl he barely even knew…was it too much? All he was certain of was her name and that she didn’t want help (which he was going to give anyway) and here he was—setting himself on an adventure to bring back happiness to the somber lone wolf. Would she find him creepy and weird if he did these for her? Or would she show some sign of thankfulness in those hollow eyes?   
He guessed he’ll have to find out tomorrow.


	5. The Boy with Sunshine Hair and Ocean Eyes

She didn’t wake up until noon the next day. Or rather, she didn’t get up from her place on her chair until noon the next day.   
Annie couldn’t see the point in preparing for the day anymore. It wasn’t like she was going anywhere, had things to do, people to see. However, once Reiner, Ymir, and Berthold had awoken and begun roaming around, she almost wished she did have plans that didn’t involve these three.   
She left Three Walls around two thirty, not really keeping track of where she was going. Within moments, the girl felt and heard her stomach grumble in hunger. Her brain then told her that she never had breakfast that morning; in fact, the last thing she had consumed was that half empty bag of salt and vinegar chips Ymir had given her last night and, of course, that hadn’t filled her up at all.   
Her eyes scanned the perimeter and tried to catch anything that resembled food. There was a supermarket on the left that was swarming with people which was automatically labeled as a “danger zone” in her mind. It was too much of a risk for her to go steal some snacks while surrounded by prying eyes. A small restaurant sat across the street and Annie immediately dismissed that business as well—she almost laughed at the thought of her having any money. She glanced further down the road and observed the quiet Rose University, an occasional student or professor crossing buildings. Annie wasn’t so sure about the college. Even on weekends, the school’s security was on high alert, making sure that everybody who wasn’t a part of Rose University got shooed away back into the cold.   
Just then, a student with a bad bowl-shaped haircut passed by the school on the sidewalk. He was fumbling with all the textbooks and sheets of notes in his hands when an energy drink fell out of his open backpack. Annie’s gaze stayed on the rolling can as the student continued walking, unaware that he was leaving something behind.   
She quickly skimmed the area before making her way over to the school. Her steps were swift and careful, dodging every person who got in her way. (Well, almost everyone.)   
As if fate were trying to screw with her, her shoulder bumped against someone’s chest, causing her to stumble a bit while the person she hit nearly fell to the ground, catching their footing at the last second. She peeked behind her momentarily—that was the intention anyway. Her eyes remained on a familiar blond with a thin body and only remembered who they were when the person looked up at her, smiled, and stated her name.   
Annie raised an eyebrow and the boy nodded his head, understanding her confusion. “I’m Armin,” he explained. “We met momentarily yesterday.”   
She blinked. “Oh yeah,” came her dull response. She stole a glance behind her, taking a look at the energy drink still on the sidewalk.   
Armin straightened up from his almost-fall, to which Annie noticed that he was only about four inches taller than her (at least he isn’t as big as Berthold, she found herself thinking). His smile never faded as he gazed at her. “Are you doing alright?”   
She hesitated. “I’m fine.”   
His smile broadened. “Good! So, uh, are you doing anything today?”   
She didn’t think about the question properly because, without really knowing what she was doing, she mumbled “No” under her breath.   
She hadn’t realized what she’d done until the boy, Armin, beamed with hope and then asked her, “Would you like to go get something to eat?”  
For a second, the energy drink left Annie’s mind completely. Something to eat? Even the word “eat” caused her mouth to fill up with saliva. She almost accepted the offer whole-heartedly…almost.   
Instead, she stared at this Armin with narrowed eyes. He barely knew her and yet he was inviting her out on an event of some sort. Did he plan this, search for her in the city and then ask her this question, in hopes that she would say yes? What a creep.   
“No, thanks,” she answered dully, preparing to turn around when an image crossed the boy’s face, forcing her to stop in her tracks. He looked sad with his slightly upturned eyebrows and parted lips. “But…why not?” he whimpered, looking and sounding like a lost puppy.   
“Because you don’t even know me.”   
He shrugged. “Well, it’s good to get to know each other that way. And you get to eat a proper meal.” He blushed to himself as the bitter November air nipped at his cheeks. “That’s another good thing.”   
She still wasn’t convinced. “Don’t you have something better to do than to eat with a weak and pathetic girl like me?” She sniffed distastefully through her Rudolph red nose to prove her point.   
Armin blinked, surprised. “You’re not weak or pathetic.”   
That caught her attention, but she tried not to let it show. Whenever she insulted herself (out loud, that is) silence usually followed. Sometimes Reiner or Ymir or her father would agree with her, daring to even push the subject further (Berthold never said anything, of course). But no one, until now, had objected to her self-harm.   
Her gaze fell on the passing cars in front of her while Armin’s glided down to Annie’s battered sneakers. “Please?” he added pleadingly. “It would be my pleasure to treat you to lunch.”   
Slowly, her stone cold eyes moved over to his bashful face. Why was he being nice to her? She’s done nothing to deserve this—in fact, quite the opposite. This whole scenario was completely foreign to her and she had no idea how to appropriately respond to it. But still she tried.   
“What exactly did you have in mind?”   
He looked up at her. “Is that a yes?”   
“It’s a question, dumbass.”   
“Oh…well, I actually have some food packed in my bag, so we can go inside somewhere…”   
“No.”   
“Pardon?”   
“I’m not going anywhere with you.”   
Annie knew she was making him uncomfortable, but he smirked, chuckled, and said, “Am I already embarrassing you?”   
She rolled her eyes. “Like I said, you don’t know me.”   
“Are you saying that for my sake or yours?”   
Annie’s frown deepened. Who does this guy think he is, questioning everything that came out her mouth? She should just take his messenger bag and leave. No, she can’t do that. She didn’t know why but she had a feeling that she would be seeing this boy often…dammit. So instead, she muttered “Whatever” under her breath, walked a few steps, and then sat down on a nearby bench that overlooked the city.   
She clutched her frozen hands together and blew into them as she felt Armin’s eyes follow her every movement. Her equally frozen orbs glared up at him. “Are you gonna sit with me or are you gonna continue to stand there and stare at me like an idiot?”   
At hearing Annie’s words, Armin snapped back to reality as his face flushed a bright cherry red. He quickly stumbled over to her and placed himself next to her on the plastic bench. His gaze fluttered around the scenery before settling back on her. “Are you sure you don’t want to go somewhere indoors? I’m sure you’re plenty cold.”   
“I’m fine,” she replied, annoyed.   
His eyes lingered on her a moment longer before they turned to his bag. Fucking finally, Annie thought to herself; she did not appreciate him staring at her. It only added to the idea of him being a perverted stalker.   
She watched him pull out a small plastic container and a tall dark green thermos from his mushroom colored bag. He unscrewed the top off the thermos and poured whatever was in the bottle into the cap. He handed it to her with, of course, a smile. “It’s chicken noodle soup,” he clarified. “Everyone’s going to need some of this sometime in the winter.”   
The homeless girl hesitantly took the tiny cup from him and enveloped her hands around it tightly as the warmth sunk into her palms and fingers. For a minute, she just let the soup’s warm smell and heated touch consume her frostbitten skin. And once she sipped the yellow soup, she could feel that same warmth flow within her. She then noticed Armin holding out the plastic container towards her.   
“I also brought this. It’s something I like to eat whenever it’s cold outside.” He pried open the lid and plucked a white fork from its contents. Annie swallowed what was left in the thermos cap and set it aside so she could take the meal from Armin’s hands. Inside was a mixture of brown rice, steamed veggies, and a slice of banana nut bread on the side. She was glad to learn that these foods held warmth as well.   
Annie ate the hot and delicious (although she’d never admit it to him) lunch Armin made for her, but tried her best to not devour it rapidly like a wild animal. Armin mainly watched her and made sure she ate everything, but he also talked—a lot. She didn’t catch all of it—she wasn’t trying to pay attention in the first place—but she recalled him discussing the weather, his school exams, and something about his friend Eren.   
About fifteen to twenty minutes later, when Annie had finished her food, she handed back the now empty container and thermos to Armin. She nodded her head to him, said “Thanks” and started to walk away.   
“Uh, w-wait!” Armin struggled to quickly stuff his things into his bag and jog over to her side. “W-Where are you going?”   
She shrugged. “Not sure. Somewhere warm, maybe.”   
“Maybe?”   
“Sometimes warm places aren’t what they’re cut out to be.”   
The taller blond knitted his thick eyebrows together in misunderstanding. He was probably trying to figure out what she had meant with her last statement. She didn’t expect him to. Not many people understood her anyway.   
She observed him shake out of his thoughts and present his kind and very real smile. “Mind if I join you?”   
Annie bit the inside of her cheek. He was still determined to talk with her? But she hardly said anything to him (nicely, anyway). What confused her even more was that he visibly flinched or shrunk into himself like tissue paper whenever her icy glare pierced through him…and he still asked her questions like these. How could this little weakling be both frightened and interested in her?   
She shifted her weight onto one foot, studying Armin while studied her through smiling lips and wide eyes. If innocence could completely embody a person, it would be him. His golden blond hair shone brightly like the sunrays on a late spring afternoon. His deep blue eyes overflowed with interest like the crashing waves on a pleasant and beautiful beach. And that smile of his could make anyone feel good about themselves. It wasn’t plastered on his face, but seemed to fit just right, much like a puzzle piece. He was lucky enough to possess such a smile; it made you want to confess everything to him, gaining trust instantly.   
That’s why she didn’t like him. The most dangerous people were the ones that were easy to talk to, the ones that were considered “trustworthy” and “responsible”. She believed Armin was just that and that’s why she didn’t want to get close to him. Who knows what could come spilling out of her mouth in his oh-so-friendly presence?   
But she failed to understand why she patiently waited for him to catch up to her so they could walk side by side through the bustling city.


	6. The Loneliest Eyes

Despite her dull responses and avoided stares, Armin was glad Annie had let him walk with her. She even opened up a little to him while she silently ate the meal he prepared for her. Well, maybe “opened up” wasn’t the best term to use…more like “tolerated”.   
He didn’t let her rude comebacks get under his skin either; in fact, it only drew him in more, like a curious child inside a lively carnival.   
He was attempting to get her to join a conversation as they came across the giant bridge that stretched over the frigid river several feet below, standing as the borderline for Rose City and Sina Ville.   
“So, how long have you been in Rose City?” Armin asked the blonde girl.   
She shrugged. “Not long. A few months.”   
“Where did you live before?”   
Her head turned towards the tall, skinny buildings in the distance. “Sina.”   
Armin faced the city as well. Sina Ville had the reputation for being the homeland of the rich and snobbish. It also was a place where people with bad intentions often got away with their crimes. Did Annie want to leave that place because of those reasons? Was Annie a runaway?   
“Do you like it here better than Sina Ville?” he asked her.   
She pried her eyes away from the city and aimed them at Armin. “No. There’s bad people everywhere.”   
He blinked. Well, he couldn’t argue with that.   
“T-That’s true, I suppose…” The blond duo slowed to a stop and they both grasped the slick railing that held them back from falling into the rushing waves below them. A bit of an awkward silence overcame the pair as Annie’s crystal orbs scanned the drowsy horizon while Armin’s inspected Sina Ville’s excited setting.   
But then he wasn’t seeing Sina anymore; he was seeing the ocean now.   
It must’ve been the sound of the cold river splashing against the bridge’s structure that caused his mind to drift to other places. It’s almost like he’s there: the buildings are replaced with the salty sea and the grey skies were exchanged with puffy white clouds. He often found himself in this daydream without really meaning to enter it. Something would trigger him (spilling salt on the kitchen counter or waking up to the sun shining in his eyes) and then his mind would spiral down to his deepest wish and desire.   
And then somehow reality yanks him back to earth. This time it was the sound of Annie’s voice, surprising but all the more pleasant.   
“Who are your friends?” Her gaze remained fixed on the monochrome sky before them. Armin paused for a moment to check and make sure that she actually said something in the first place. He got his answer when she peered at him from the corner of her eye and clarified: “You know, the ones you always leave that coffee shop with?”   
Armin blinked and then cleared his throat nervously. “Um, you mean Eren and Mikasa? Those are my childhood friends. They attend Maria University, though…”   
She nodded in understanding.   
“They’d love to meet you. You should join us next time.”   
“No thanks.”   
He tried to keep his shoulders from slumping. “W-Why not?”   
“I’m not exactly a people person.”   
He smirked to himself. “That’s okay. Eren is already excited to see you.”   
At that, Annie whipped her head towards the unsuspecting boy. “You told others about me?”   
“Yes…is that okay?”   
She frowned, facing the skyline again. That same awkward silence floated by for the second time but, thankfully, it didn’t last long before Annie once again spoke up, startling Armin another time.   
He needed to stop underestimating her before something happened to him.   
“What are you studying in school?”   
Armin bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself from smiling broadly. It pleased him to learn that she somewhat listened to him while she ate earlier (though he already told her his major).   
“Education. I hope to become a teacher someday.”   
“You won’t get paid much though.”   
Armin leaned forward on the metal railing and chuckled. “Like I haven’t heard that one before.”   
He could feel Annie’s stare shift to him as he continued speaking.   
“A lot of people have told me that I won’t make enough money going into this major. I understand that they’re just looking out for me and want the best for me but I’ve decided this career path a long time ago. I want to help others understand the wonders and mysteries of this world. I want to be useful.” His head lowered at the sudden flow of memories. “I don’t want to be a burden.”   
The golden haired boy recalled all those times when his classmates poked fun at him and beat him up after class throughout the years. The beatings began as early as kindergarten and didn’t really stop until Armin left for college. The only people who knew of Armin’s school bullies were Eren, Mikasa, and his grandfather. On several occasions, Eren himself had gotten a black eye or a bloody nose while trying to protect Armin but it was always Mikasa that ended the fight. And his grandfather eventually figured out that Armin wasn’t “tripping down the stairs at school” after he’d come home covered in bruises and cuts almost every other day.   
Sometime in elementary school Armin asked his grandfather why other kids hurt him so badly. “They are jealous of your intelligence, Armin,” the old wise man said as he bandaged his grandson’s arm. “Intelligence is both the most useful and dangerous weapon one could have. Use it wisely.”   
And that’s what he intended to do—to use his gift/curse to the best of his ability. To not be a burden on anyone.   
Annie seemed to understand all this without him saying a word. “You are a weakling; that’s for sure. But you must be pretty brave if you made it this far.”   
He turned to face her, eyes wide. “Huh?” he said dumbly.   
The small girl tucked a strand of blonde hair behind her ear as a cold breeze swept through. “If you really are a burden, then you wouldn’t be in college and you wouldn’t have any friends and we wouldn’t be talking right now. You would’ve let the cruelty of this world break you down and do nothing about it.” She finally looked up at him. “Are you a burden, Armin?”   
Something terrifying lingered in her eyes when she asked the question, daring him to give the wrong answer. He flinched (only slightly; he was starting to get used to her glares) and gave her the response that she made him believe to be true: “N-No…”   
“Good.” Her head curved back to the river but Armin’s gaze never left her. He focused on her eyes, as much as he could anyway, for her blinding blonde hair slowly began to slip from behind her ear, curtaining her facial features. The boy had a sudden urge to brush back the free strand of hair but, of course, he didn’t. He didn’t want Annie to break his wrist. So instead, he tried to peek at the face she didn’t want him to see.   
The small view he managed to capture through the girl’s hair was her right eye. The black, empty pupil stared longingly at the hastily setting sun, like a deep abyss yearning for some sunshine for once. He’d never seen a blue lighter than Annie’s irises; it reminded him of winter, harsh yet peaceful. She had extremely long eyelashes and the skin underneath her eye was darkened a little like she wasn’t getting enough sleep. And with his thick eyebrows slightly upturned, his gaze unbroken, and a tiny smile tilting his lips, he said what was on his mind:   
“God, you’re beautiful…”   
Annie glanced up at him before quickly whirling her head the other way, her shoulders tensing up. Armin watched her hands ball up into fists and he swore he heard her mumble under her breath, “Don’t call me that.”   
He bit his bottom lip and murmured “I’m sorry” even though he necessarily wasn’t. He thought she was a little rude, quiet, and didn’t get excited about much. But she listened to him and watched him and talked with him and asked him questions and agreed to sit and walk with him. He saw her chapped lips, triangular nose, and oily hair pulled back into a tight bun. But he marveled at how much care was hidden inside those lonely yet lovely eyes.   
He knew that she was a good person, despite all the bad things she thought of herself.   
“Are you homeless, Annie?” She’d probably growl at him like a Rottweiler after asking a somewhat personal question, but, to him, Annie was something he simply had to decode.   
She was a great and wonderful mystery, waiting to be solved.   
Instead of raising her hand to slap him across the face like he expected, her left eyebrow stretched to the sky like she thought he was an idiot. “I thought it was pretty obvious…”   
“Well, there’s a difference between being homeless and, let’s say, being lost,” Armin clarified. “Homeless people have absolutely no place to be, and they’re roaming around the earth looking for a home, for something or someone that makes them comfortable and feel like they have nothing to hide. Lost people are just having a little trouble at locating their home. They already have one, they just don’t know where to look for it.” He shyly glanced at her. “I believe you’re just a little lost, Annie.”   
She stared at him a bit longer before she let her eyes drift downward. “If that’s the case, then I’ve been lost for a long time.”   
“I don’t know who it is, but…” Armin lightly placed his skinny but warm fingers on Annie’s hand which still gripped the railing firmly, her knuckles turning white. She jumped a bit at his touch, but somewhat relaxed when the blond boy smiled that famous smile of his. “I do know that someone out there cares about you very much—they’re just waiting for you to come home.”   
The two souls gazed at each other for a moment, letting the rest of the world pass by in a blur. Annie looked as confused and taken aback as Armin felt. What are you doing?? his rapidly-beating heart demanded of him. She’s gonna kill you if you don’t take your hands off her!   
If she really didn’t want you touching her, she would’ve already moved or told you to, his brain told him. Relax. She’s probably just as nervous as you are. Can’t you see her staring at your hand?   
His eyes peeked up at the girl’s face and saw it to be true—Annie was watching Armin’s still fingers rest on her knuckles like a puppy watching a raging thunderstorm from under the bed. Her crystalline orbs were wide and her lips were pressed firmly together in a thin white line. He blinked. She really was nervous.   
Maybe she’s staring because she’s finding out different ways to break your wrist, his chest spoke up.   
Oh, stop that! his mind countered. She’s plenty new at this like you are, so just stop worrying so much and take it slow.   
Just as his brain finished the thought, Armin felt Annie’s hand slip out from beneath his fingers, slowly and hesitant. “I have to go,” she whispered. He could tell by the way her hand lingered on the railing and how she stayed in her spot that she really didn’t have anywhere to go—or she didn’t want to go.   
He turned to face her. “Where are you going?”   
Silence. “I don’t know…”   
They gazed at one another silently, Annie’s lonely eyes staring at Armin’s affectionate smile. “Well,” Armin said, “you can always come to me if you end up lost again.”   
Annie said nothing, the bitter wind dancing with her platinum blonde hair. She shuddered and, without a second thought, Armin shrugged out of his winter jacket and went to wrap it around the frozen girl’s shoulders.   
She jolted back when she realized what he was doing, her gaze shifting into daggers. He came to a halt, frightened. “It’s okay! I’m not gonna hurt you. Y-You look cold, so I thought you’d want this…”   
Annie peered at Armin’s coat—it was a soft grey color and had lots of buttons. She didn’t move. Armin took another step. Still, she stood motionless. He took that as a sign and very slowly placed the heavy jacket upon her shoulders.   
She stood like a statue, eyes glued to the ground, as Armin tugged on the collar, making sure her entire torso was draped in the warm fabric. He could already feel the harsh and freezing breeze nip at his bony body, pushing through the sleeves of his deep green hoodie. But facing the icy temperatures and chilly winds was all worth it if he got to see the shocked but thankful expression Annie wore.   
“Are you okay?” he murmured lowly to her, hands still on the collar, looking down at her with a blush on his cheeks. She nodded her head slightly and then repeated to him “I have to go” before stepping back.   
He gazed at her with a sad smile etching along his lips. “Can I see you again?”   
One moment passed but it felt like an eternity to Armin. It was during this long minute that Armin realized that his thoughts about this girl were different now than they were when he first met her.   
“Tomorrow morning,” she finally answered. “Meet me in the alleyway across the café.”   
He nodded his head rapidly like a bobble-head, feeling his sorrowful smile brighten as he carefully took hold of one of Annie’s hands and brought it up to chest-level. “I’ll be there. Thank you for companying me today, Annie. I’m looking forward to seeing you tomorrow.” And then he bent his head and gently pressed his soft lips against her cold knuckles.   
The gesture wasn’t meant to be affectionate—it was a sign of respect and gratitude, but both blondes blush at the action. They stare into each other’s souls for another moment before Annie removes her hand from Armin’s hold and sped away.


	7. Torn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This chapter contains a scene of self-harm. In fact, self-harm is going to rotate around this story pretty often so be warned. I'm not saying I support self-harm but I've tried making this story as realistic as possible.

Annie’s feet moved as fast as her brain. What the hell just happened?? She could not believe that she let that weakling tell what he thought of her, give her his jacket, and even kiss her hand! She still felt the blood rising to her cheeks—and it wasn’t from the bitter cold grasping at her flesh. Inside, she could hear the Female Titan growling angrily: How dare you let that boy’s kindness overtake you? He’s an enemy. The whole world is your enemy.   
Have you forgotten your father’s words?   
“No,” Annie mumbled, voice low and frantic. She stormed through the crowd of people shuffling on the sidewalk, her steps quickening, her heart hammering.   
You have. You deserve to be punished for being such a burden on your father.   
Annie grunted as she rounded a corner and walked to the nearest empty space available—which happened to be another alleyway with an overflowing dumpster pushed against the brick wall. She plopped down behind the dumpster and began rocking back and forth while clutching her head in her hands.   
“No, no, no,” she muttered into her chest. “It’s not like that…”   
You don’t get to tell me what things are, traitor! You don’t disobey your father’s orders, no matter what! What use are you? You’re a liar and a traitor.   
“I’m not a…liar…” Annie took out her mother’s wedding ring from her pants pocket and examined it, her body practically hunched over the piece of jewelry. This was the only thing she had taken from her home before running away. It was hidden in her father’s nightstand: the top drawer, underneath his wrinkled T-shirts. For some unknown reason, the diamond in the center of the ring was gone. All that remained was the gold wiring spiraling into the air, grasping nothing.   
Weak and pathetic and useless! Wasn’t your father training you to become a strong warrior instead of this scrawny and frail little girl? If you keep this up, you’ll die just your mother did: covered in blood and crying like an injured puppy.   
“No…” Annie curled herself into a ball, fighting back her tears and the overwhelming urge to drag the damaged wedding ring across her even more damaged skin. Armin’s coat still hung upon her back, attempting to wrap her in its warm embrace. But no warmth could ever tame this cold-blooded monster.   
Fall, Annie, snarled the Female Titan.   
And so she did.   
Annie sliced the diamond-less ring through the scars displayed on her wrist, ripping open multiple scabs. She didn’t feel the pain (she had grown numb to it) as she watched her red blood slide down her hand. She rolled back her sleeve so she wouldn’t get any bodily fluids on her sweatshirt and held out her hand in front of her, seeing the red river pour from her.   
After quite some time, when the blood had dried, Annie stuffed the wedding ring back into her front pocket and lowered her sleeve back to her knuckles. She wiped her eyes hurriedly, just in case she had cried at all (she could never tell). Just as the broken soul shakenly got on her feet, something fell from Armin’s jacket pocket.   
It was a small bottle of cold medicine, made to cure headaches, runny noses, stomach cramps, coughing fits—things like that. Annie plucked the bottle from the ground and examined the label. This was a common medicine; Annie herself had taken this whenever her body ached after a brutal training session with her father.   
Her thoughts wandered over to Armin. Why did he have this in his coat pocket? He didn’t look sick or in pain, so he shouldn’t need it. Unless it was meant for her…   
“Bastard,” she muttered under her breath, unscrewing the cap and taking a big gulp of the dark liquid. She put the cap back on, placed the medicine in Armin’s inner coat pocket, and then made the trip back to Three Walls.   
She quietly stepped through the front entrance of the bar just as the angered voice of Ymir rang about the room: “Dammit, you stupid piece of shit! Work!”   
The freckled girl was nowhere to be seen however, once Annie looked around the room. She did notice Reiner and Berthold sitting by the spotless bar. They were wearing their thin and beaten up jackets and gloves; she thought they had just gotten back from who-knows-where and were in the process of warming up but as she walked further into the open space, she quickly realized that the room no longer held any warmness.   
Annie glanced at the two boys, who looked back at her with expressions of annoyance and ice. “The furnace isn’t working,” Reiner explained, rubbing his hands together frustratingly.   
“Ymir’s been working on it for the past thirty minutes now,” Berthold added. He nervously scrubbed his jacketed arm.   
Suddenly a door to the left swung open and a very irritated Ymir stormed out. “That’s it!” she yelled into the air. “I’m done trying to repair that piece of crap!”  
Her giant feet stomped over to where the trio had gathered. “I have no fucking idea how the thing broke and I have no fucking idea how to fix it so we’re just gonna have to deal with the fucking cold.” After her explosion, she plopped down on the last available stool, crossing her arms and frowning deeply.   
Annie was about to stroll away, really not in the mood to talk, but was stopped short by Reiner’s next words: “Where did you get that jacket?”   
She slowly turned half-way to meet Reiner, paused, and then lied: “I found it.”   
It was a crappy lie; even Reiner could tell something was up when Annie gave her answer. “That’s an awfully nice coat. Where did you find it?”   
“On an empty park bench. It got left behind.” An even crappier lie.   
Reiner stood from his seat and walked over to Annie. Her hands clutched at the rough fabric protectively the closer the jock got. He finally stopped in front of her, peered at the coat, and then back at Annie, eyes narrowed dangerously. “Did someone give that to you?”   
Annie scowled. “No. I told you, I found it on a park bench.”   
An intense silence occupied the room for another minute. Reiner glared at the small girl and then spoke in a low and maddening tone, “Liar.”   
“What?”   
“Someone gave that to you!” Reiner shouted. “Who in the fuck would leave a winter coat behind in thirty degree weather? I’m not an idiot, Annie!”   
She took a step back. “Why do you have to know? Just calm down, Reiner.” She knew Reiner didn’t like people, especially people with homes, but why was he so concerned with Armin’s jacket?   
And then she felt her heart stop when Reiner barks, “The whole world is your enemy. Don’t trust anyone.”   
Her shocked expression made the tall blond’s glare more intense, forcing her to feel like the size of a flea. Berthold shifted in his seat to look at his companions anxiously while Ymir watched with a huge grin on her face like she was watching a football game. Annie tried to replace her current expression to her usual cold stare but those unexpected words caught her off guard.   
“Fuck off, you stupid bastard.” Her insult spat from her lips like venom as she started marching back out the front door, not bothering to spare the two brunets a glance. Just as her fingers barely touched the rusted doorknob, Reiner’s hand suddenly clamped down on her shoulder and roughly spun her around, making her face him.   
“Where the fuck do you think you’re go—” Annie’s tight fist connected with Reiner’s bulky nose. She could feel something break underneath her knuckles as well as the spray of blood and hearing the satisfying sound of a small crack come from his nose.   
Annie whipped around and ran out of Three Walls, leaving Reiner grasping at his now broken and bloody nose while Berthold hurried over to his friend’s side and Ymir laughed hysterically.   
Annie swiftly pushed her arms through the sleeves of Armin’s coat and began buttoning all the buttons as she kept on running, having absolutely no idea on where to run to. She threw on her white hood and continued moving against the frigid wind.   
Hardly any stars shone in the blackened sky and for once the streets weren’t flooded with large and impatient vehicles. The hopeless girl easily crossed the road; the sidewalks were just as clear and it made Annie wonder just how late it really was. Shops were closed, crickets were singing, drunks were out. And here she was, fitting in with the loneliness of it all.   
She walked and walked and walked until she felt like she had walked the entire city. She tried thinking, she tried coming up with a plan, but nothing came to mind. What was she looking for? There was a nagging feeling in the depths of her brain, like she was forgetting something important. Like there was another option if she ended up lost again.   
She stopped in that same alleyway, the one where she and Armin technically first met. Her eyes dragged over to the café on the other side of the street. It was dark, but a single light could be spotted from deep within the shop. She could make out two figures in the light; one was taller and had a high ponytail while the other was short and possessed a rather large head. They appeared as though they were talking—hands flying, gestures exaggerated. Their motions suddenly came to a stop and then they just stared at each other until the shorter one muttered something which sent the person with the ponytail throwing their head back in loud laughter.   
Annie continued to watch the odd pair switch off the dim lighting and stroll out the front door, locking it behind them. Ponytail hung her arm around the Egghead’s shoulders and they went on down the sidewalk, looking at their booted feet as they attempted to avoid stepping on any cracks in the pavement.   
Annie found herself wanting this, yearning for someone to guide her through the deep cracks in life.   
Over the next four weeks, Annie and Armin continued eating lunch together every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday by that same bench they first sat at. They never went inside somewhere, even when the temperature dropped and the winds picked up—all because Annie said no.   
She still wasn’t sure why she was so persistent on not going anywhere with Armin; he kept on saying how much his friends wanted to meet her which she found strange—no one ever got excited to see her. He also told her to keep his jacket as he continued giving her homemade meals every other day. Pretty soon his warm food was all that she was living off of.   
She slept very little and when she did, it was often somewhere excluded like behind dumpsters or hidden among the shadows. She never did go back to Three Walls after the incident with Reiner and didn’t intend to. In fact, she hadn’t seen Reiner, Berthold, or Ymir since then. That, however, she intended to stay that way.   
Annie also found herself actually enjoying Armin’s company over time. Although she’d never admit out loud, she stared longer at his charming smile and listened intently to their conversations. He did the same thing to her—watch her every movement and always put his words on hold whenever she shared a rare comment.   
There was just something about him, she supposed.


	8. Warmth

“I just don’t know what to do,” Armin stated to Eren desperately.   
The two boys sat in Armin’s grandfather’s living room, playing Portal 2 while his grandfather was in the kitchen making tea. He could sense Eren’s frustration with him—he frowned deeply whenever he had to remind Armin to move his character to the next area.   
“Just freakin’ ask her already,” Eren grumbled, wildly pressing the buttons on his controller.   
“But what if she says no?” For the last thirty minutes Armin had been asking Eren for advice on how to ask Annie out on a date (his insides twisted up whenever he thought of that word). He wasn’t sure why he went to Eren first—he had the same experience as him when it came to girls romantically: absolutely none. But then again he couldn’t go to Connie or Jean because all they would do is laugh and laugh and laugh.   
He should’ve went to Marco.   
“She won’t. Oh, hey.” Eren made his robot character walk around a wall. “Make a portal here.”   
Armin sighed, obeying. “You don’t know that.”   
Eren studied the yellow portal Armin just created. “Yeah, you’re right. I have no idea what I’m doing.”   
Armin glared at his best friend. “I was talking about Annie.”   
With an annoyed sigh, Eren put the game on pause, placed his controller on a nearby end table, and then pushed himself off the floor, heading toward his backpack on the other side of the couch that Armin sat on. “I’m calling Mikasa.”   
The blond boy’s eyes widened. “W-Why?”   
“Well, she’s a girl, right? Maybe she can help you so you can stop complaining so we can get back to the game.”   
“Eren, no!” Armin grabbed Eren’s wrist, stopping him from reaching for his phone. “Don’t call Mikasa!”   
Eren narrowed his eyes. “Why not?”   
“She’ll kill me if she finds out I’m trying to ask Annie out. You’ve seen the way she looks when I talk about her! It’s like she thinks Annie is the devil itself!”   
Eren hung his head and let a low and irritated groan escape his lips. “Ugh, look. If you really want my advice, just go for it. You talk about her all the time and I haven’t even seen her ‘crystalline blue eyes’ yet.”   
Armin blushed furiously when Eren quoted his description of Annie.   
“But from what I’ve heard, it sounds like she doesn’t exactly hate you so she’ll probably say yes. So just stop worrying so much about it or else I might just have to kill you.”   
“Whoa, let’s not kill anyone just yet.” Both of the boys turned toward the familiar sound of Armin’s grandfather joining the conversation. He walked into the room with his old wooden cane in one hand and a small white teacup in the other. He then cautiously placed himself at his favorite rocking chair in the corner of the room and smiled at the two boys, his cheeks crinkling at the action. “Is there a problem?”   
“No.” “Yes.” Eren and Armin answered at the same time.   
Eren wasted no time in telling the old man the situation while he took a careful sip of his warm tea. “Armin wants to ask a girl out but can’t do it.”   
“Eren…” Armin muttered under his breath, his cheeks still on fire from the very idea of this whole conversation.   
“Oh! Is that true, Armin?” The old man rested his teacup on the end table beside Eren’s controller, his smile widening.   
“I…” Now that the question was directed at him, he couldn’t lie to his grandfather. He always knew whenever Armin was lying; probably because he was a master liar himself. “…yes.”   
“Ah, finally. I was wondering when your father’s flirtatious side would come into play.”   
Eren stifled a laugh while Armin continued to feel his entire face heat up like a hot air balloon. “Granddad, please help me.”   
“After you answer a few of my questions. How long have you known this special lady and why haven’t I heard about her until now?”   
“You haven’t told him?” Eren jumped in, taking his place back on the floor. “You’ve been seeing her for like a month and you haven’t told your granddad?”   
“Eren, you’re not helping in the slightest.”   
“A month? Then this shouldn’t be too difficult for you, my boy.” The old man leaned forward on his cane. “What’s her name? What does she look like?”   
“Oh, great.” Eren laid on the carpeted floor, covering his eyes with his arms.   
Despite the aggravated tone in Eren’s voice, Armin grinned slightly and he felt his red hot face soften a little. “Well, her name’s Annie Leonhart. She has bright blonde hair that’s always tied in a bun. Her eyes are like crystals and her skin white as snow. She’s small, around five foot, but she’s way stronger than she looks, both physically and mentally. And, well, she hasn’t smiled yet but I’d like to think that it’s the most beautiful thing in the world.”   
Armin’s grandfather stared at his grandson with a small but heartwarming smirk. “She sounds wonderful.”   
“I really want to get to know her better and, you know, see her more often. But I have no idea how to tell her this without embarrassing myself.” He looked at his hands, worried.   
“Maybe you should take her somewhere with your friends,” his grandfather suggested. “That tells her that you want her in your life and introduce her to new things about you.”   
Eren sat up. “Does that mean I can finally see her?”   
Armin thought about it. He has mentioned several times on how Eren wanted to meet the lost girl but she always shrugged it off like she didn’t believe it. But maybe she wouldn’t mind meeting his friends?   
“Excellent idea! Armin, tomorrow I expect you to find this girl and take her to Springer’s to meet Eren, Mikasa, Sasha, and Connie. No excuses.”   
“O-Okay…” Armin tensed up when he thought of Mikasa’s deviled look while meeting Annie for the first time.   
He felt Eren’s hand squeeze his shoulder in reassurance. “Don’t worry. I’ll calm Mikasa down. Everything will be fine.”   
And, for just a moment, he thought it might be true.   
He found her right away as soon as he exited the bus with Eren and Mikasa the next day.   
His heart always felt like it was about to burst whenever he saw his own grey coat draped over her. It was big on her but then again, it was always a little big on him too. All the silver buttons were buttoned properly and she had her hands stuffed into the pockets. Her eyes met his across the street, nodding her head once in greeting, cheeks bright red from the icy cold temperature. He waved his hand and quickly turned to his friends, saying that he’ll be in a moment. Eren grinned and nodded while Mikasa sighed to herself and simply entered the café without a word.   
Armin ran across the street and into the alleyway Annie stood in. “Hi, Annie,” he started, smiling widely.   
“Hi.”   
“How are you doing? Are you feeling better?”   
“I’m fine.” She quickly rubbed her nose, sniffing heavily. “A little bit better actually.”   
“That’s great! I’m glad.”   
The two stood silent for a while, but it was comfortable; they’d been having these moments for quite some time. Armin nervously swallowed and opened his mouth to speak: “Annie, c-can I ask you something?”   
She shrugged. “Sure.”   
“Um, would it be okay if you, uh, w-went on a, um, you know, a…” He felt like throwing up he was so scared.   
Annie’s eyebrows wrinkled in confusion. “A what?”   
“Um, well, would it be okay if we have lunch? Like inside a café? With, uh, with my friends? Ah—”   
Her eyes traveled over to the café. “With your friends…and you?”   
“Y-Yes.”   
She raised an eyebrow. “Sounds like some sort of double date to me.”   
His face felt hotter than it had ever been. “Uh, it’s not a double date. E-Eren and Mikasa aren’t dating. I mean, they would like to meet you and I really want you to have some friends and I want to get you know you more and see you often and make sure you’re okay and I want you to be happy and…” He trailed off, realizing all the nervous babble that came from his mouth.   
“So it is a date, but with your non-dating friends.”   
He was so embarrassed all he could do was nod and stare intensely at the pavement below.   
Annie was quiet for a while before looking back at Armin and gave him her reply: “Yeah, okay.”   
His head shot up. “R-Really?”   
“I suppose. You keep on talking about how people want to see me so I guess this is the only way to get you to shut up.”   
“T-Thank you, Annie. Thank you so much.” He smiled warmly at her.   
She moved her hair behind her ear. “I’m just surprised you’re asking me out on a date even though I haven’t showered in a few days.”   
He laughed. “Don’t worry. Even with unwashed hair, you still look so beautiful.”   
She tensed up. “I told you to not call me that.”   
Armin didn’t apologize this time and luckily Annie didn’t point it out.   
He had his hand hover over the small of Annie’s back as the pair crossed the street (Armin made sure to get in front of her to open the heavy door of the café for Annie). Annie took two steps into the café and then stopped, looking a bit uncomfortable. The café was quiet today to which Armin was glad for, but Annie still looked uncertain about advancing further. He peered down at her and made his lips tilt up a bit. “Are you okay?”   
She nodded but said nothing. His eyes still on her, he very carefully and gently held her freezing hand, fingers slowly wrapping around her knuckles. “It’s okay. Come on.”   
She let herself be guided by Armin’s hand around hers, holding it like it was made of glass. The two blonds made their way over to the table Armin and his friends usually sat at.   
Eren looked up from his conversation with Mikasa just as they arrived. Mikasa did as well, just not as happily.   
“Hey, guys,” Armin said. “Annie, these are my best friends, Eren and Mikasa. Guys, this is Annie, the one I’ve been seeing for a while.”   
“Hey, Annie.” Eren grinned at the emotionless girl. “So we finally meet. Armin’s been talking about you nonstop.”   
“Oh, has he?” Annie momentarily glanced at Armin before looking back at Eren.   
“Eren…” Armin mumbled as he pulled out a chair and motioned for Annie to sit. After a moment’s hesitation, she did.   
“I’m just saying,” Eren said, Armin taking his place between his wonderful date and his loudmouth best friend.   
“Yes,” Mikasa added, looking at Annie, “Armin does mention you a lot.”   
Annie stared back at the raven haired girl. “He does the same thing with you two. Mentioned that you’re siblings.”   
“Somewhat,” Eren said. “My parents adopted Mikasa shortly after her parents died in a car accident.”   
Annie nodded and leaned back in her chair. “I see…”   
Mikasa and Annie glared at each other while Eren stared confusedly and Armin held his breath in anticipation. Thankfully the moment was interrupted by Sasha’s cheery voice: “Hey, y’all! I got your drinks right here.” She placed their usual beverages in front of the rightful person (Eren his iced tea, Mikasa her salted caramel latte, Armin his white hot chocolate). Sasha then turned to Annie with a big, cheesy smile on her face.   
“Hey! You must be Annie. Eren and Mikasa told me that you were coming, but they didn’t know what you liked, so I got you what Armin gets because holy crap it’s cold out there!” The brunette girl placed the heated cup in front of Annie.   
Without even glancing at the drink, Annie faced Armin, her face expressionless. “How many people know about my existence?”   
Armin glanced up at Sasha, his own irritation starting to seep through. “After Connie, I really hope no one else.”   
“Oh…right.” Sasha held her grey plastic tray high above her head and ran for the backroom. “Connie, get off the phone!”   
“Anyway,” Eren started, attempting to erase the awkwardness from the conversation (which Armin greatly appreciated), “do you have any plans for Christmas, Annie? It’s two weeks away.”   
She shrugged and cupped her hot beverage between her snow white fingers. “Try to stay warm I guess.” She took a hesitant sip of the white hot chocolate. “Thanks for the drink by the way.”   
“A drink is the very least we could do for you if those are your plans for Christmas.” Eren beamed. “You’re pretty cool, Annie. You should hang out with us more.”   
The said girl gave no reply, just sipped her drink gingerly, but Armin could tell by the tiny flush in her cheeks that she appreciated the comment.   
For the next forty-five minutes, Eren mainly hosted the majority of conversations, making sure to include everyone in, even moody Mikasa. Armin occasionally peeked at Annie’s face, which remained emotionless at all times. When they stood up to depart, Armin announced that he was going to walk with Annie for a bit. “Alright,” Eren said. “Text me when you get home.”   
Mikasa nodded and gave her blond friend a concerned look, but Armin just smiled brightly back. “I will. See you tomorrow.”   
After the two small blonds watched Armin’s friends go, Annie turned to him. “So the date doesn’t end yet, huh?”   
He scratched the back of his neck bashfully and glanced down at her. “If that’s okay with you. I don’t want to say goodbye yet.”   
“I guess that’s fine. It’s not like I have anywhere to be.” She turned her back towards Eren and Mikasa’s departing figures. “Where to?”   
“I was hoping it would be okay if we went to my apartment. It’s warm and I can get you some food and we can just talk some more. There’s so much I want to know about you. You’re very quiet.”   
She stared at him a moment longer. “It’s easier that way.”   
His dark blue eyes slowly went down to Annie’s right and abandoned hand, white and bony. He held his breath as he dared to complete his next action: His fingers lightly touched Annie’s bare wrist and very slowly traveled down into her hand. His fingers slid into her palm, expanding further as he interlaced with Annie’s fingers. He squeezed her hand gently and ran his thumb over the length of her pointer finger. Her whole hand was cold and smooth like ice—except for her wrist; he grew slightly concerned when he felt a bumpy surface on that body part.   
“I really like you, Annie,” he mumbled, smiling to himself as he continued to run his thumb over her fingers.   
Her hand was stiff for a while, as was the rest of her body, but she eventually relaxed a bit and, without breaking her lock on their weaved fingers, had murmured from her chapped lips, “I like you too.”


	9. Yearning For Company

Their hands never fell apart until they stepped inside Armin’s apartment.   
When he opened the door wide and beckoned her inside, she had to blink her eyes a few times to get used to the bright room before her. The walls were the color of eggshells and the carpet the color of acorns. A red loveseat sat against the wall to where a wooden coffee table stood before it, some paperwork spread across it (most likely homework knowing Armin). A small TV sat on the opposite side of the wall and next to it was a fireplace. Immediately on the left was a tiny kitchen, complete with a stove, microwave, refrigerator, dishwasher, and a white counter with two wooden bar stools.   
Annie didn’t move from her place on the doormat as her eyes scanned the area like a little kid in a toy store. She hadn’t been in an actual house or apartment for half a year. The living room was clean and welcoming and her mouth watered at the thought of a fully stocked kitchen.   
She narrowed her eyes a bit when she noticed Armin staring at her curiously. “What?”   
“Nothing!” He went back to removing his black winter jacket (it looked old and worn-out; a hand-me-down maybe?) and placed it on the coat rack next to Annie. He looked back at her and offered a hand. “Do you want me to take your coat?”   
She paused and she wasn’t sure why. She liked her coat because it kept her warm and it made her feel safe, protected. But then again, it was originally Armin’s coat…   
She mentally shook that thought away as she quickly started unbuttoning the jacket. Just as she was about to rip it off, she felt the heavy fabric slowly drag down her shoulders until she didn’t feel it anymore. She watched Armin free her hands from his coat and put it away.   
He turned back to her. “Go ahead and make yourself at home. I’ll get you something to eat.”   
As he walked away, Annie began shifting from one foot to the other. She could feel the Female Titan starting to get angry and heard her growl from deep within her. But she felt another part of her reassure her that everything was okay, telling to step further into the room and to finally accept the company she’s been yearning for so long.   
And so that’s what she did, but with extreme caution, for she knew the Female Titan didn’t like this. Not one bit.   
Annie shakenly lowered herself onto the red loveseat, sinking down further into it than she expected. Her eyes toured out to the window to the right, watching all the city lights beginning to beam. The sight was a bit calming, because she knew she wasn’t out there, fighting for her life. But instead she was somewhere warm and comforting, for once in her life.   
Five minutes later, she felt Armin nudge her arm as he presented to her a bowl of heated pasta and a tall glass of apple cider. “It’s leftovers from last night,” he explained. “I’d figure you’d like the rest of it.”   
She timidly took his offering. “What about you?”   
He strolled over to the fireplace in the corner, retrieving a box of matches left on the mantelpiece above it. He peeked at her behind his shoulder, grinning. “You shouldn’t have to worry about me. I have access to food twenty-four seven; you don’t.”   
He had a point.   
She ate the warm pasta as Armin attempted to get a fire going. It took a few tries to get his match to light up, but she eventually heard the birth of a flame and then the small crackle of it expanding. She watched him shuffle around the firewood to help the tiny flame grow—or to be more accurate, she watched his body move.   
He was small (that’s more of an understatement) and wasn’t very fit at all. He didn’t struck her at all as the type of boy to watch sports all day and head to the gym every once in a while—more of the opposite really. She figured the most physical activity he got was running from class to class in school. She observed his bones shifting around as he continued to build the fire, looking at his thin shoulder blades poke through his white button-down shirt. She then began to wonder if she weighed more than him; the thought didn’t bother her, in fact she found it sort of amusing. She wasn’t proud of her short structure anyway and she’ll be the first one to admit that she lost many pounds after she ran away from home. But she still practiced her kicks and punches whenever she had the chance, so all she weighed must’ve been nothing but muscle.   
She glanced down at herself and studied her own appearance for a moment, something she hadn’t done in a long time. Yes, she was proud of her strong physical body and enjoyed those moments whenever she had to beat up some poor untrained man (which happened definitely more than once in her lifetime), but she was also self-conscious about herself as well. Like her thighs for instance; they were huge. She knew it contained mostly muscle but they always seemed a bit bigger every time she looked at them. She shuddered and crossed her legs and tried to straighten her sweatshirt over them—she didn’t want Armin looking at them.   
Her face reflected in the blank TV screen across from her and she wanted to cover that up with her hair. God, how she hated her nose. It was almost as big as her thighs combined. She got her looks from her father; he also sported a very stern and naturally angry expression. Her face was way too masculine and she was sure she could be mistaken for a boy from a distance. She took a big gulp of her apple cider, placed her empty plate on the coffee table in front of her, and tried her best to huddle into herself.   
“You okay?” She felt the couch sink lower next to her and peered up at Armin’s concerned face.   
“Yeah.” She looked at her plate. “Thanks for the food.”   
He grinned. “No problem.” 

They sat in silence for a while, Annie staring at the crackling fire while she felt Armin’s eyes on her. Usually this would bother her (he’d probably have a black eye by now) but it was different when it was him. The Female Titan hissed at her, How can you just sit there and let him in? He is at the foot of your door and will open it eventually if you keep this up! You can’t let that happen!   
“Annie.” The lost girl concentrated on Armin’s voice and tried to stray away from the Female Titan’s. She closed her eyes and answered him. “What?”   
“Tell me about your previous home.” A pause. “Why did you run away?”   
She smirked. “I thought we discussed this already. I never did have a home.”   
She heard him chuckle. “Okay, you’re right. But do tell me why you ran away.”   
Annie let a sigh escape her lips. “It’s complicated.”   
“I’ll try my best to understand.”   
She knew she couldn’t escape this. Armin wouldn’t let it go; for a weakling he sure was determined. She clutched her sweatshirt in her hands and decided she’d rather deal with this now rather than later.   
“My father is a very difficult man. My whole life he trained me to be the strongest, the most powerful, the best of the best. ‘A warrior’ he liked to call me. Nothing was ever good enough for him and he expected no mistakes. I think he’s only tough on me because of my mother’s death. She died during childbirth so it’s understandable why he would do that to me. I lived when my mother did not so instead of dying, might as well make my life a living hell. He drank too, so sometimes his demands would be more forceful and my punishments hurt a little more.” She bit her lip. “That’s why I ran away. To escape my father. But I think I’ll go back eventually; I learned that no matter where I go, my father is always with me.”   
Annie didn’t realize she was twitching until Armin put his hand on her shoulder blade. “You don’t have to continue if this is hard for you,” he said softly. “You look like…there’s something else inside you.”   
“There is. And she doesn’t like you.” The Female Titan growled in fury once Annie started to slowly peel off her disguise.   
“She?” His voice was awfully calm and soothing. Wasn’t he afraid of her? Didn’t she sound crazy, dangerous? Like she deserved to be locked up in a mental hospital?   
“She…She follows me wherever I go.” She hated the way her voice was beginning to crack. “She’s been with me ever since I entered this cruel world. I don’t know exactly what she is, but…she talks to me, makes me do horrible things.”   
Annie couldn’t believe she was saying all this but Armin seemed like he really cared what was going on with her. The way he scooted closer to her, the way his warm hand ran up and down her spine. He was trying to comfort her in every way possible…  
“What kind of things?”   
Her exhale came out in a tremble. “I…I can’t. She’ll hurt you.”   
Silence. “Why would she do that?”   
“She doesn’t want me to get close to you. She thinks you’re only nice because you’re trying to get information out of me, sell me out and throw me somewhere dark and lonely.” Her voice now switched to anger, the Female Titan starting to make her appearance known. “Are you scared of me?”   
And then Armin revealed his most gentle, caring, and heartfelt smile. “No.”   
Her eyes opened and she jolted when she realized just how close Armin really was. He watched her closely, face inches from hers. “I think you’re scared of yourself, Annie,” he whispered, hot air flowing against her chin. “But you shouldn’t be. You’re a good person.”   
Her body froze as she watched Armin with wide eyes as he leaned forward bit by bit. She knew what was going to happen, but at the same time, she didn’t. She didn’t know how to react, what was the right thing to do in this situation, so she just sat still, feeling Armin’s breath against her skin. It was warm, and smelled of peppermint. She observed him slowly closing his eyes and felt his soft lips brush against hers.   
It was the first time she had ever been kissed; this included the typical goodnight kisses your parents would give you or the pecks on cheeks close friends would present to you. At first, the touch was so light, she thought she had imagined it all. But then he got a little closer, his lips now fully pressed against her chapped ones. His kiss was curious and cautious, but she could feel him wanting to get closer, to be let in. He gave her one more kiss, his pink lips curving into a slight smile as he pulled away.   
“Sorry,” he apologized, resting his forehead against hers. “I got a little carried away.”   
Annie’s breathing pattern got a little heavy; she was nervous. Did she respond okay? He didn’t point out anything that she did wrong so she guessed it worked out okay. She observed his smile. It seemed real, like he was happy with the results. Never was she ever put into this kind of position; she only knew what to do if someone with a switchblade came forth.   
Armin stared at her ajar lips a bit longer before finally closing his eyes, a strange emotion crossing his face. It kind of looked like he was in pain or that something was troubling him. He leaned forward to kiss her again but decided not to at the last second. Instead, she felt the hand that was on her back slid down her arm until it came to rest on her wrist. His other hand touched her other wrist and her body went rigid, knowing what was happening.   
“Can you show me your wrists?” Armin asked, eyes still closed, forehead still against hers.   
She decided to play dumb. “Why?”   
“Because I care deeply about you and want to be sure of something.” A moment of silence. “I want to be wrong about something.”   
He knew, without a doubt. Her heart began beating faster and her hands slowly turned into tight fists. She tried to control her breathing as best she could, to not let him know how much this bothered her. “No.”   
“Annie, please.” His eyebrows furrowed in pain. “Please let me in.”   
“I can’t.”   
His eyes finally opened; they were sad and pleading. “Will ‘she’ not let you?”   
Annie peered down at Armin’s hands and slowly removed them from her. “I…shouldn’t have told you that.” She stood up. “I should go now.”   
The boy’s eyes widened. “But—” He stopped himself mid-sentence and then sighed heavily. “Okay. A-Are you alright?”   
“I’m fine,” she lied.   
She walked to his front door and opened it when she heard Armin spring up from the couch and run over to her. “Can I walk you to where you need to be?”   
“No. I’ll be fine.”   
“At least take back my coat.” He went to reach for the grey jacket hanging on the rack.   
“Armin.” He paused and looked at her, worry and fear scribbled along his features. Annie sighed and smirked a little. “You have been more than generous to me and I appreciate everything you’re doing. But I have to go somewhere where you can’t follow. For now at least.”   
His hands lowered to his sides, still looking sorrowful. And, without waiting for the Female Titan’s permission, Annie leaned forward and placed her lips upon Armin’s cheek, which she felt heat up instantly. She pulled away. “I really do like you though.”   
As if on cue, one of his famous smiles slowly etched up across his face. “Thanks again, Armin. I’ll see you soon?”   
“Y-Yes. Of course.”   
When she left his apartment, she waited until she was a block away to begin sprinting deep into the shadows.


	10. Here To Help

Armin and Annie went out together a few more times before he decided to seek for help.   
They both had a wonderful time, as far as he could tell. They went to Springer’s one more time with Eren and Mikasa, they ate and went people-watching in the mall, they held hands and walked around the snowy park, and they had dinner at his apartment again. But when she refused to talk about this ‘she’ person inside her or her father or deceased mother, he made the decision to look for assistance.   
He really didn’t want to do this, but she left him no choice. It really hurt him to see her like this: so alone, so cold, so abandoned. He tried everything to let her know that it was okay to let people in, that he was there for her no matter what, but ever since that night, she declined any serious discussion about herself or her past.   
What also pushed him over the edge is when she didn’t want to go over to his grandfather’s place for Christmas. She had nowhere to go and nothing to do on that day but still didn’t accept his invitation. On Christmas day, he frequently went up to the front window and peered out to search for her, hoping she’d show up. But she didn’t. He saw her the next day in their alleyway and asked her what she did on that holiday. She claimed she sat inside a Chinese restaurant until they kicked her out back into the snow. When he felt his heart break at her response, he decided to look for professional help.   
Without Annie’s permission.   
On the first day of the spring semester, Armin stopped by Professor Hanji’s office. He knocked on the open door and peered inside. “Professor Hanji?”   
He caught sight of the wavy haired teacher taping a sheet of notes to her wall, along with other sheets of paper and various pictures of pink brains and the depressed faces of what looked like mental patients. Her head whipped around at the sound of his voice, chocolate locks flying around her. A smile stretched from ear to ear when she recognized Armin. “Armin! Holy shit it’s great to see you!”   
A hand flew to her mouth at the curse she accidently slipped and she giggled loudly. “Oops! Don’t tell Professor Smith I said that. But oh my gosh, Armin! I haven’t seen you in like a month. How are your classes? Come in, come in.”   
He did as he was told, closing the door behind him. “Hi, Professor Hanji. It’s great to see you too. I have to admit, I miss your psychology class.”   
“I do too. All I’m teaching this semester is chemistry and forensics. No psychology! I’m going to go insane!” She laughed. “Ha, ha! Ahh, psychology humor.”   
“Professor Hanji, can I ask you a few questions? I actually came on a pretty serious matter.”   
“Oh, yeah. Of course. You can ask me anything. Here, take a seat.” She hurriedly removed a small pile of papers on one of the chairs at her desk and set them to the side. Armin lowered himself into the chair as Hanji rushed around the messy desk (piled high with papers to grade, files of mental patients, and empty mugs of caffeine drinks). She fell into her spinning chair and placed her elbows on the desk, body leaned forward in interest.   
“So Armin, what’s going on?”   
“Well…” He rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s a long story and a little complex to explain.”   
“Then we’re off to a great start!” She clapped her hands together once, voice jumping in enthusiasm. “The best things in life are often the most complex and filled with endless details. So, please, tell me everything.”   
Armin grinned. “Okay. Um, back in November, I met this girl—”   
Hanji immediately interrupted with a high-pitched squeal and clutched fists. “Ooh! I know where this is going! Please tell me this has led you to having a girlfriend!”   
“Uh…” Should he label Annie that? They have been going out for a couple months now but neither of them have actually uttered the word “boyfriend” or “girlfriend”. He shrugged shyly. “I guess you could say that.”   
“YES!” The ponytailed woman raised her fists in the air victoriously. “I was hoping this day would come! You are so intelligent and generous and brave and one of the best students I’ve ever had. You deserve to have a special girl in your life.”   
“Uh, thanks…but I came here to discuss her actually. I’m afraid she’s not…okay.” He didn’t know the right word to explain Annie’s condition; he wasn’t a doctor or a professor—he couldn’t diagnose her with anything. He was afraid to use words like “unstable” or “mentally ill”.   
Hanji’s fists lowered, her facial features changed to looks of worry. “Really? You think something’s wrong with her mentally?”   
“I think so. A while back, she told me that there’s someone inside her who’s telling her to do bad things and to stay away from people, me specifically. She won’t tell me the things she’s done or who this person is exactly but I have a feeling she’s only getting worse at this rate.”   
Hanji frowned, thinking to herself. “A person inside her…doing terrible things…keeping to herself as much as possible. Hmm…explain her behavior. Is she violent or reckless?”   
“Not that I’ve seen. She’s very built though—she also told me that her father has trained her for as long as she can remember. She’s definitely capable of causing damage but she hasn’t hurt me or anyone near her…yet.”   
“If I may ask, she’s your girlfriend, correct? So has she ever react strangely or push you away when you try to get close?”   
His eyes drifted to the floor. “Yes. She’ll tense up and then eventually move away.” He looked back up. “But she hasn’t hurt me. I don’t think she’d do that.”   
“Do you know much on her family history? Their behaviors or mental health?”   
“No. I just know that her mother died in childbirth and her father was pretty tough on her while growing up; he was, or is, a drinker. I don’t know if he’s addicted or what.”   
Hanji was quiet for a second, something she always did when pondering decisions. “What’s her name?”   
“Annie Leonhart. She’s not a student here. She’s actually…living on the streets.” Again, Armin felt hesitant telling his professor this. He knew it was for the best but he hated feeling like he was betraying Annie somehow.   
The professor widened her eyes behind her thick glasses at this. “Really? That’s not…good. That’s not healthy at all.”   
Armin nodded in agreement.   
“Well…” Hanji tapped her fingers against her desk, staring intensely at a short pencil in one of her drained coffee mugs. “Well, I’m sure you know that I’m a doctor at the psychology ward in the Rose Hospital.” Armin nodded again. “So, if you don’t mind, can we set up an appointment with Annie there? I can’t claim anything without solid proof if there’s something wrong with her. She can get a CAT scan and I’ll ask her a few questions and maybe we can contact her father on some more information.”   
Armin’s tense shoulders dropped a little. He trusted Hanji enough to be careful with Annie and to not interrogate her like a bad cop. He smiled at her. “Yes, that would be great. Thank you so much, Professor Hanji. I’ll get back to you whenever I see Annie next.”   
“No.” Hanji smiled back. “Thank you Armin, for your brilliant brain and careful intentions.”   
Armin invited Annie back to his apartment that weekend and he was glad when she accepted. He decided to not blurt out Hanji’s suggestion first thing when they stepped through the front door but instead, they enjoyed some chicken noodle soup and watched some TV for an hour. After the end to some criminal mystery show came, Armin turned off the TV and tapped Annie’s shoulder. “Annie, I need to tell you something.”   
She was sitting cross legged on the sofa and quietly changed her position so she faced him fully. “What is it?”   
He smiled at her and turned to her, holding both in her hands in his. “How are you doing?”   
“I’m fine.” He realized that she said that way too often; she never said “good” or “well” or “alright”. It was always “I’m fine”.   
“Well, that’s…fine, I suppose.” He studied her hands, still white and bony but possessed the strength of a thousand men. The cuffs of her sweatshirt ran to her knuckles and he wondered if that was intentional.   
Everything was quiet for a moment. “Are you okay?” came along Annie, sounding curious.   
“I’m okay, yes.” Geez, this was harder than when he asked her out on their first date. Well, of course it should be harder; this was about her mental state, her unstable brain. He sighed. “Um, h-have you ever been to a hospital before?”   
She shook her head slowly. “No. I don’t like them. They pick and poke at you and try to fix you even though they don’t know you.”   
He swallowed. “But you know they’re there to help you, right?”   
She paused. “I guess. But I prefer to deal with things by myself.”   
Another sigh escaped him. “But sometimes we need help from other people. Sometimes the problem is too big for us to deal with by ourselves.”   
He felt Annie’s stare on him. “What are you trying to say, Armin? Don’t try to turn this into some sort of puzzle.”   
He looked back up at her, observed the blonde hair curtaining her eyes and super pale lips frowning in annoyance. He gulped. It’s for the best, he told himself.   
“Annie, I-I’ve talked to one of my professors at school. She’s a psychology teacher and a doctor at Rose Hospital. I’ve told her about you and she would like you to set up an appointment with her at the hospital. All she wants to do is ask a few questions and get a CAT scan—it’s a procedure where they basically take a picture of your brain for reference.” He bit his lips nervously. “Annie, I think you should do this.”   
What was actually a few seconds felt like eons to Armin. Annie stared at Armin’s face for a bit silently before she parted her lips and whispered, “What?”   
He closed his eyes. “Annie, it’s for the best. I’m worried that—”   
“You told a doctor about me? About my personal life?”   
He squeezed her hands desperately. “Yes and I’m so sorry for it. I really am. I felt like I was betraying you and it made me sick to my stomach. But this is to make you feel better because…” He paused, attempting to blink away the tears forming at the edge of his vision. “…because I know you’re not okay.”   
Annie looked at his eyes and then very slowly and dangerously her eyebrows shifted downward. “You think I’m crazy…”   
His hands flew up to her face, cupping her white cheeks. “No, I don’t! I swear! I just think you need help—”   
She ripped her face away from him like his fingers were made of fire. “I trusted you…”   
He could feel something deep within him shattering and it came with a pain like he never felt before. He figured this was what heartbreak felt like. “Annie—”   
“No.” She spat the word at him and flung up from her spot on the couch. Her eyes were like daggers and her lips curled back in a sinister sneer. He tensed up. This was not the Annie he knew. This was someone else.   
“I’m not going anywhere near that hospital. I’m not crazy and neither is my father—”  
“I didn’t accuse your—”   
“Shut up, you traitor. I trusted you enough with my personal life and you spread it among other people who I don’t even know. I can’t believe you’d do such a thing to me! How dare you, Armin Arlert, tell me what I should and should not do. This is my life, not yours! I’m not your responsibility so stop caring about me so fucking much!” She shook her head in fury and stomped over to the front door.   
Despite her harsh words, Armin was quick on his feet and grabbed Annie’s arm before she could reach the doorknob. “Annie! Wait a sec—” And then he felt fire on his left cheek.   
Annie’s hand came so quick and struck so hard that it caused a little spittle of blood to spew out of Armin’s mouth. Her slap left him speechless as his ocean blue eyes stared at the floor.   
“I never want to see you again,” was what snarled from Annie’s mouth before she flung open the door and slammed it shut with all her might, forcing some cups on the kitchen counter to wobble a bit.   
Armin stayed like that for what seemed like forever, just staring hopelessly at the carpeted floor beneath him, like it held all the answers. When he heard cars honking outside his window and saw the room around him grow darker is when he let his tears roll freely down his face, falling to his knees and clutching his stupid brain in his hands.


	11. Decode

The end of March was nearing, which meant that Annie hadn’t seen Armin in almost two months.   
Since she stormed out of Armin’s life that day, everything seemed to go wrong. The weather was harsher, the people more ignorant. And what’s worse: she couldn’t find her mother’s wedding ring. She thought she left it behind at Armin’s apartment but she wouldn’t go back.   
There were plenty of ways to hurt herself.   
The Female Titan wouldn’t stop scowling at her either. Her low, thundering voice echoed around her mind like a waterfall inside a lonely cave. You should’ve left earlier. You should’ve never told him about me. You should’ve killed him when you had the chance.   
Annie knew what the Female Titan was also demanding that she hadn’t said aloud yet: You should’ve never run away from your father.   
She let the monster inside her guide her feet to the place where her father was most likely to be seen—the Rightful Ruler, the bar that caused Three Walls to shut down.   
A strong stench of alcohol and sweat shot up her nostrils as soon as she stepped foot into the bar. Several men either sat at the polished counter/tables with large glasses of foamy beer or played at the pool table with large glasses of foamy beer. A flat screen TV hung upon a wall which must’ve been showing a lousy football game since no one was paying attention to it. The bartender was cleaning shot glasses and periodically attending to his thirsty customers.   
Annie steadily walked through the bar, eyes scanning for the dark slicked-back hair that belonged to her father. Most of the men here were fat and bald, things her father wasn’t. As she passed a table full of drunkards, she felt a large hand grab her ass and a low voice murmur, “Well, hello there, girly…”   
Without much of a glance at her perpetrator, Annie twisted around and seized the man’s meaty thumb and snapped it back to his wrist. He cried out in pain while clutching his injured hand; his equally drunk friends pointed and laughed as Annie went on with her quest.   
She explored the small and crowded bar, peeking at every face, waiting outside the men’s smelly restroom for a few minutes. She even asked the bartender if he had seen a short, dark haired man with a naturally angry face (he didn’t, however). She crossed her arms and glowered in frustration. She was actually surprised that he wasn’t at Rightful Ruler—this was his escape, right? Escape from his only offspring? She still remembered where their house was, his house, but no way in hell was she ever going back to that place, even if her father got on his knees and begged her to come back home. Too many bad memories and old wounds.   
She was about to spin around and walk out the door (she couldn’t stand the horrible smell anymore) when another hand landed on her shoulder. She rolled her eyes and turned to break the finger of another hopeless drunk when she stopped mid-spin at the sight of the owner of the deeply tanned hand.   
Ymir.   
“Hey, Short Stuff! Long time no see. What’s going on? Seriously you’ve been gone for so long, I thought you were dead.” The freckled girl peered down at Annie’s tiny structure. “Especially with that walking skeleton look you’re sporting.”   
“Ymir. What are you doing here?”   
“Oh you know, getting some drinks, seeing some people…” She quickly and carefully took an oblivious man’s wallet from the table beside them. In a lower voice she finished, “…spending some cash.”   
She narrowed her eyes. She was about to rat her out to the drunk man beside them about his stolen wallet—she never liked Ymir, she was too reckless and reminded her of Reiner too much—when another surprise presented itself to her. A small blonde girl (amazingly shorter than her) ran up behind Ymir and wrapped her hand around Ymir’s arm. “Ymir!” she complained in a high pitched voice. “Stop leaving me without telling me first! This place is crowded and you know I can’t see anything from down here.”   
Ymir then slung her long arm around the girl’s shoulders and gave her a big and sloppy kiss on her blushing cheek. “Aww, I’m sorry, shortie! I just saw an old friend and wanted to say hi.”   
“We’re not friends,” Annie growled under her breath, although no one heard her.   
“Oh.” The tiny blonde turned to Annie, as if noticing her for the first time. “Hi! What’s your name?”   
Ugh, that voice. It was so high-pitched and perky. Annie already concluded that she didn’t like this newcomer. “Annie.”   
“Hi, Annie! I’m Historia, nice to meet—”   
“Aww! You’re not doing the codename with me anymore?” Ymir leaned heavily on the small girl, causing her to topple under her weight.   
“Oh, right. I’m ‘Christa Lenz’. Sorry about that.”   
Ymir squished her face against Historia/Christa’s. “That name fits you perfectly!”   
Annie held in a groan and started to move away from the lesbians but Ymir’s hand stopped her again. “Where are you going? Don’cha wanna chat?”   
“No.”   
“Don’cha at least wanna know how Reiner and Berthold are?”   
She didn’t know why she paused at that question, but she did. She turned her face to meet Ymir’s smirking gaze.   
“Those two Titans miss you way too much. Berthold, especially. They’ve been looking for you day and night, but I guess they couldn’t find you if you’re here now.”   
“Are they still…” She glanced at Christa, who was paying attention to everything that was exchanged between the two girls. Annie lowered her voice. “Are they still at Three Walls?”   
“Nope.” Ymir didn’t change the octave of her voice—that probably meant that Christa knew their history or Ymir didn’t bother to tell her and it was all going over her head. “Three Walls was knocked down by Rose City’s mayor about three months ago. I don’t know where specifically they are now; probably looking for you still.”   
“Three Walls was knocked down?”   
“Yeah. Luckily all of us were out when it happened. I was on my way back from some grocery shopping…” (Annie knew that ‘grocery shopping’ meant stealing but of course she wouldn’t say anything; she’d done that quite a few times herself) “…when I heard all the bulldozers and shit wrecking up the place. The mayor and this little kitten here—” She patted Christa’s head when she said this “—were standing nearby, talking to the construction men. The kitten noticed me and came up to me, offered me a place to stay at a homeless shelter close by that her dear old daddy recently put up. And we’ve been together ever since.”   
Annie directed her eyes towards Christa, who was currently receiving a giant bear hug from her freckled girlfriend. “You’re the mayor’s daughter?”   
Historia sighed heavily as if the statement alone brought forth horrible flashbacks. “Yes, but he doesn’t like people knowing that. He tries to keep me out of the public’s eye but…” She shrugged her shoulders and smiled. “That’s kind of hard to do when you’re the major’s only daughter.”   
Ymir scowled. “I don’t understand why anyone would not wanna show you off.” Ymir put her arm back across Christa’s shoulders. “I oughta teach that guy a lesson.”   
Christa frowned up at her. “Ymir, don’t you dare. My father never did anything wrong.”   
My father…   
Annie tried yet again to leak through the front door once Ymir’s attention was completely focused on Christa. She stuffed her hands inside her hoodie pocket as soon as she felt the familiar harsh wind whip about her. Her feet quickly marched down the sidewalk, attempting to decode the mystery that was Ymir.   
Ymir was still active in the criminal role and yet was actually dating Historia (or “Christa Lenz”), who was the mayor’s only daughter. How much trouble could she get into? And the codename—what was with that? Why did Ymir insist that Historia should call herself Christa? Was she perhaps leading the goody-little-two-shoes down the path of theft? It was hard to see the small girl doing anything bad; she wouldn’t harm a fly it seemed.   
But anyone can change she guessed.   
“Annie! Wait up!” The lost girl kept walking even as the sound of Ymir’s voice traveled down the sidewalk. Then she heard her heavy boots slam down on the icy cement; she would’ve outrun the giant but didn’t want to risk falling on her ass with all the crunchy snow piled up everywhere.   
“Yo, Annie!” Before Ymir could grab her arm, Annie whipped around like a tornado and glared dangerously at her.   
“What the fuck do you want with me?”   
Ymir smirked. “I don’t want anything from you. But I know there’s something you want from me.”   
“Your lips ripped off from your face?”   
Ymir threw her head back and laughed. “Ha, ha! That was a good one! I see you’re learning some sarcasm from me.”   
“You have ten seconds to finish whatever you have to say or else I will rip off some body part from you.”   
“Alright, Grumpy Pants.” Ymir reached into the back pocket of her black skinny jeans and pulled out something small and silver. “Here.”   
Annie looked down into her hand and realized what the offering was. A switchblade.   
She glanced back up at Ymir’s face, who appeared very convinced of something. “What am I supposed to do with this?”   
“Oh, lots of things. Skin animals, stab someone, engrave something on a wall…” She paused, her skinny lips tilting up even more. “Hurt yourself.”   
Annie’s eyes widened.   
“I’m not stupid, Annie. I know something’s seriously fucked up with you. You talk to yourself when no one’s looking, you push people away like they’re devils or whatever, you try to cover up every inch of yourself like…like all your secrets are growing every second. And I’m not trying to sound corny here, but I get it. I know what it’s like to be a part of something that you don’t like. I know what it’s like to have demons living inside you.”   
Annie said nothing, just stared at her. Ymir grinned. “I can see that you don’t believe me with that face you have, so I guess I’ll have to show you…” And with that, she turned around and lifted her small ponytail to the side, revealing several little cuts across the nape of her neck.   
“That’s where they live,” Ymir explained. “All my demons live, talk, and breathe there. And when I cut there, they stop for a while.” She faced Annie again. “But ever since I met Historia, I haven’t used this once.” She pointed the end of the knife towards Annie’s chest. “Now it’s your turn to decide if you wanna live with your demons or go down with them.”   
Annie stared at Ymir’s cunning smile before hesitantly taking the switchblade. The brunette stuck her thumbs in her pockets, spun on her heel, and then said, “I’m sure you’ll tell me when the lambs stop screaming, right, Clarice?”   
Ymir walked away, laughing to herself, as Annie stood there for a moment longer, remembering the scars she and Ymir shared.


	12. Scream

Armin walked down the narrow school hallway with heavy footsteps and half-lidded eyes. He went against the flow of other students and teachers; while they hurried to go home, he dragged himself deeper into the university, not really sure what he was doing. Maybe he wanted to see Professor Hanji? Professor Smith? Marco, Connie, Sasha, or even Jean?   
Annie?   
He stopped in the middle of the hallway and closed his eyes for a moment, feeling that all-too-familiar rip in his chest. Ever since Annie left him, he had these frequent moments of utter despair. It was always in his chest like he was catching fire from the inside. And then his mind would conjure up a small but wonderful memory of her. Like that time when she fell asleep while watching TV and when he went to wake her, she jolted up and accidently kneed him in the gut. Or the time when they were strolling through the park and Annie spotted an orange tabby cat sitting on a low tree branch and began stroking its fur, getting lost in its large golden eyes. But the worst part of it was realizing that there wouldn’t be anymore memories of her.   
Armin swallowed hard and then opened his eyes. Toward the end of the hallway on the left stood Professor Hanji talking to a short, black-haired man in a security guard uniform. She was throwing her hands about in an excited manner while the man simply looked up at her with the most uninterested expression Armin had ever seen (including Annie and Mikasa). Hanji caught sight of Armin and waved him over. “Hey, Armin! Come here for a moment! I want to introduce you to someone.”   
He obeyed. Hanji smiled widely and motioned to the security guard next to her. “Armin, this is a good friend of mine who’s willingly put up with me for many years. This is Levi; he’s head of security here.”   
Armin plastered on his best smile and struck out his hand. “Hello. I’m Armin; nice to meet you.”   
The man, Levi, took his hand and gave it a good shake (and by “good” he meant Levi’s grip alone could break every bone in Armin’s hand). He grunted in response.   
Hanji snorted. “Oh, don’t worry, Armin. He may seem like a jackass, but he’s actually just a big ol’ teddy bear.”   
“I’m just upset that I’m not allowed to punch students in the face while on campus,” Levi muttered under his breath.   
Instead of scolding him for giving out such an inappropriate comment, Professor Hanji laughed out loud. “Ah, aren’t we all?”   
As if the four-eyed professor could sense Armin’s uncomfortable position with this conversation, she decided to change the subject. “So! How are you doing, Armin? Anything new?”   
Based on the way she slightly leaned forward and locked her gaze on him, Armin knew that Hanji was referring to Annie. Although he never voiced it out loud, he presumed that his ex-professor would figure out the disconnection between the two blonds. Armin did his best to keep from showing any signs of distress or worry. “Everything’s fine. Nothing…new.”   
Hanji nodded, understanding what he really meant. The doctor went on to explain other topics of sciences, her excitement never dying down. Both Levi and Armin added to the conversation (Armin’s inputs were thoughtful because he was actually interested in what she had to say while Levi’s comments were short and rude because he could care less about global warming). He did, however, stare Armin down like he somehow knew the boy’s secret. Now whether or not he cared was a different story.   
Soon enough, Armin departed from Hanji and Levi’s presence, claiming that he had mountains of homework to do (which was a lie). Hanji smiled sadly, her way of showing sympathy. Levi raised one skinny eyebrow and his features looked like a mix of suspicion and thoughtfulness. Armin left the university without giving it a second thought.   
The dreamer kept his head down as his feet led him across snowy sidewalks and icy roads. He wasn’t sure where they were taking him; he must’ve been really out of it today. They didn’t stop at Springer’s Café or in Annie’s alleyway. He didn’t even stop at his own house. Instead, when he did come to a full stop, he found himself looking up at his grandfather’s home.   
Without questioning it, he went inside.   
Armin had been provided with his own key to the old man’s house several years ago. After all he did live here for most of his childhood when his parents died in an airplane crash. He was seven and was staying with his grandfather while his parents went on their lifelong dream of exploring the world. The first stop was Germany, where his father’s family grew up. Just as the plane crossed over the borderline from Spain to Germany, something malfunctioned in the airplane. It crashed a few minutes later, killing everyone on board. At such a young age, Armin still didn’t fully understand the meaning of death—no one ever taught him about it before. He knew what an airplane was and some basic parts to it. He knew where Germany was and all the surrounding countries that made up Europe. He knew that his parents loved learning and teaching him about the wonders of the world. But he didn’t know that death meant he couldn’t see that person again.   
So after the memorial service, his grandfather led him by his tiny seven-year-old hand and told him in a sorrowful but strong voice that he was to stay with him for now. Armin’s underdeveloped mind brightened at the idea, but he eventually understood that his parents were never coming back from their trip after asking where they were for the fifth day in a row.   
Armin opened the front door and closed it gently behind him, biting his bottom lip. Why was he thinking about that now? He was already so stressed and miserable—why was his mind conjuring up his worst memory as a kid?   
His grandfather shuffled around the corner and peered at his grandson, who stared at the floor intensely, his golden bangs shielding his eyes. He rested on his cane, smiling. “Armin, my boy. What a nice surprise. What’re you doing here?”   
Armin didn’t answer. The old man furrowed his white eyebrows, stepping towards his silent grandson. “Is something wrong?”   
Very slowly Armin looked up at his grandfather with watery eyes. “I miss them.”   
The old man closed his eyes. He didn’t need Armin to explain; he knew who he was talking about. “I miss them too.”   
Armin dropped his things on the ground and clutched his head in his hands, tears slipping down his cheeks. “I miss her.”   
“I know.” His grandfather gingerly placed his wrinkled hand on his trembling shoulder. “Give her some time. She’ll come back.”   
“I can’t wait anymore!” His voice rose unexpectedly, but his grandfather didn’t flinch in the slightest. “It’s the harshest winter we’ve had in fifty years and she’s all alone out there! She could die…I-I have to do something.”   
At this, the old man narrowed his eyes. “Stop being so selfish, Armin Arlert.”   
The grandson widened his eyes in confusion. “What?”   
“Stop trying to break Annie out of her crystal. If she wants to stay isolated, then let her. Love is patient, love is respect. You can’t keep her all to yourself—you have to let her go. If she comes back to you, then it was meant to be.” He stared long and hard at the wide-eyed boy, like he was disappointed in him. “Even if her decisions seem dangerous, the best thing you can do is let her know how much you care.”   
No more tears fell from Armin’s cheeks as he gazed at the floor, his brain absorbing the new knowledge his grandfather passed on to him. The old man sighed. “I can see that you’re still distressed. Do you need some time to think things through?”   
The boy slowly nodded his head. His feet glided pass his grandfather, his slow and stiff movements reminding him of an undead creature. The grandfather turned his head to watch his grandson head for the backdoor, towards the whipping winds and dropping temperatures. “Armin, it’s freezing outside. Why don’t you go upstairs to your bedroom?”  
Armin stopped momentarily to peek behind his shoulder and give a wobblily smile, eyes wide and damp. “I’ll be fine, Granddad. I just need a moment to myself.”   
He left the house before his grandfather said anything else.   
The cold slammed against his body like a hurricane. Armin’s eyes squeezed shut temporarily at the impact; when he opened them again he examined the area about him. His grandfather’s house stood in the suburbs surrounded by large oak trees; he observed the naked trees, snowy ground, and grey skies. Everything looked so…empty.   
Armin stumbled into the woods, traveling deeper and deeper until he couldn’t feel the warmth in his legs anymore. He looked back from where he came from—he no longer could see his grandfather’s house.   
Good, he thought to himself. With this great of a distance and the rapid winds, Granddad shouldn’t be able to hear me.   
And with that, he inhaled all the air his lungs would allow and then released it in a loud and powerful scream.   
It rang throughout the woods, the breeze carrying it to places unknown. He felt his throat vibrate and tighten the longer and harder he screamed. The shriek itself was filled with agony and suffering, all negative emotions pouring from his mouth. He grabbed the sides of his head and unleashed another horrible cry. It traveled up the snow-dipped trees and into the heavens, trying to reach out for some sort of comfort from his long-dead parents. Although no one really answered his screams of guilt and yearning, he felt somewhat calm afterwards.   
And so the wise soul screamed and cried until his eyes stung and his throat burned.   
After this, Armin returned to his grandfather’s home, shaking from the deathly cold outside. He hobbled pass the old man and sat himself down on the teal couch in the living room, staring aimlessly at his snow-covered shoes while half-attempting to curl himself into a ball. A few moments later, the shivering boy felt his grandfather slowly place a thick, fleece blanket around his small shoulders. He then handed him a mug of hot tea and lowered himself onto the couch beside him.   
The two didn’t speak during this exchange, nor did they say anything for the longest time. The silence they surrounded themselves with wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable, but rather very fitting. So much was said in this quietness without either of them having to open their mouth.   
His grandfather insisted that Armin stay for the night, which he did.   
Throughout the next week, Armin hung out with Eren and Mikasa nonstop. They stayed longer at Springer’s Café, sipping steamy beverages while chatting endlessly with Sasha and Connie. They went over to Armin’s grandfather’s house on several occasions, but they also visited Eren and Mikasa’s home, catching up with Grisha and Carla Yeager’s lives. The trio even met up with Jean, Marco, Mina, Thomas, Hannah, and Franz. (Although Jean and Eren mostly argued about pointless debates, Armin enjoyed learning about Hannah and Franz’s engagement, Thomas’s raise at his new job, Mina’s scholarship to a beauty school, and Marco’s adventures of being an on-duty police officer.)   
One chilly afternoon, as Armin briskly started towards his apartment after school, his wide eyes caught sight of something sparkling inside a shop window. He backtracked his steps a bit and peered through the glass to get a better look at whatever he just saw.   
His eyes flicked over to the top right corner when something small flashed across his vision. It was a piece of jewelry hanging on a leather strap. The jewelry itself was in the shape of a diamond and possessed a clear blue color. Nothing fancy at all—but it shined brighter than all the millions of stars in the night sky. Armin was enchanted by the necklace, and he wasn’t completely sure why.   
Despite having no idea why he was drawn to the shining object, Armin purchased the crystal.   
He carried it in the palms of his hands on the way home, staring at it and holding it like it was a baby bunny. His eyes never departed the brilliant piece of jewelry, even as he unlocked his front door, set his things down, and lied down on the couch. He held the necklace by the leather strap, dangling inches from his face, the ceiling light making the crystal dazzle wonderfully.   
Who are you? Armin asked the crystal silently. Why are you here?   
As expected, the simple crystal gave no response; it only swung helplessly back and forth, unable to control its movements.   
Time dragged on like a slippery slug—Armin made no intention to move or get up; he let his mind ponder about the crystal for the rest of the night. He finally exhaled slowly and looked out the window and watched the snow fall for a while. He gripped the necklace tightly in his fist and bit on his lower lip. She’s in my head again.   
“Please come back,” he whispered to the window, wondering when exactly the lost girl would break out of her precious crystal.


	13. Shatter

Annie paced back and forth in the dark, empty alleyway, unable to control her movements. Her steps were becoming sharper and faster the more she thought—correction, the more the Female Titan screamed in her head.   
You’re not seriously considering that cursed girl’s option, are you? She’s a weak, mindless nobody. She lives for that small blonde—she’s pathetic. Almost as pathetic as you. You think about that scrawny thing of a man almost everyday, and he’s done nothing but hurt you. Betray you. He and his cold-blooded brain deserve to be slaughtered like a pig.   
“Stop it,” Annie muttered under her breath. It was almost two in the morning and the wind was howling loudly like a lone wolf, but Annie still tried to keep her voice down. She felt like the breeze would carry her voice into the sky and spread it among the people of this stupid and cruel city if she didn’t keep quiet.   
The world is your enemy, Annie. How many times must I remind you of that? You can’t trust anyone. Not even Reiner and Berthold, whom you haven’t even seen in almost half a year! It would be best if you went home to your father. We both know you can’t handle yourself anymore than a starving lion.   
“I said stop it.” The blonde dug her jagged fingernails into her palms and pulled her lips into a tight, white line.   
The Female Titan laughed softly, low and mockingly. What are you going to do if I don’t, “stab” me with that dull knife the Dancing Titan gave you? You must’ve figured out by now that you’re only hurting yourself, idiot. I can never die, no matter what you threaten me with. I’ll always be here. I’ll always be here to watch you fall—   
“SHUT UP!” Annie unknowingly threw a quick but strong punch against a nearby dumpster, the blue metal crinkling around her fist, a loud echoing sound ringing in her ears. She slowly pulled her hand away, pain shooting through her knuckles, examining the damage she created.   
Blood dripped down her fingers in narrow rivers and plopped onto the snow below her. Her vision focused on her red blood seeping into the white snow for a moment. Her blood looked so dirty, so tainted, and the snow so pure. She was taking innocence away without even knowing it.   
She gently lowered onto her knees, feeling her entire body turn blue from the cold, cold air. The snow on the ground formed around her legs and the snow above continued falling all around her, like heavy tears slipping from the darkened sky. All she could hear was the wind’s agonizing screams and things falling over, stray trash flying into the gusts, a broken chair banging against the blue dumpster.   
You can never leave me. I was here since the moment you came into this world, and I’ll be here until you leave it. But who knows for sure? Maybe I’ll find you in the afterlife.   
“No,” Annie mumbled, her bloodied hand reaching into her sweatshirt pocket. She shakenly gripped Ymir’s switchblade and pulled it out. Both girls watched Annie activate the blade.   
You’re really going to do it, aren’t you? Well, I’m sure as hell not going to miss you—then again, who will? Your father, perhaps, but no one else. Not really. Good riddance, you heartless bitch.   
“Please, just leave me alone.” Tears fell down from her wide eyes like a waterfall, her teeth grounded into her bottom lip like a giant claw. Her hand trembled as she held the knife inches from her exposed wrist. “Please…”   
Pleading for your life now? I’m not the one holding the knife, Annie girl. This is all your doing. You’ve bloodied your own hands. You’ve killed, betrayed, and lied. Who could ever forgive such a crime? You’re not worth saving, Annie.   
You’re not worth anything.   
“LEAVE ME ALONE!” Without feeling anything, Annie slashed the switchblade across her left wrist. She repeated this action a dozen times, reopening old wounds and creating new ones. Blood spurted from the cuts and pooled along her skin, sweatshirt, and the snow beneath her. She didn’t feel any pain but she did hear the Female Titan’s evil laughter ring in her head, no mercy, no pity. This caused her to move to the right wrist, birthing long and deep cuts along her small wrist. More bodily fluids poured from her and still no pain. When would it come?   
Annie suddenly remembered Ymir showing her the marks on the back of her neck. That’s where they live. She turned the bloody knife over in her hand and reached the nape of her neck and begin sawing away. At first, nothing happened, just more blood and more wicked amusement from the Female Titan. And then the monster inside her stopped—that’s when the overwhelming pain finally took over her body.   
Annie’s painful screams pierced the air, reaching the same octave as the powerful wind whipping at her open cuts. She squeezed Ymir’s weapon in her hand as she stared in horror at what she’d just done. She jumped to her feet, stumbling a bit along the way, and let all the emotions she locked away drain from her like a sink faucet.   
She cried like she never cried before, cursing and blaming herself for everything that went wrong in her life. She left her father all alone, she left Reiner and Berthold in the cold, she left her mother in her blood.   
She left Armin’s heart broken.   
She let out a surprised shriek when she thought of his name, his beautiful name. She looked all around her and realized that she wasn’t too far from his home; without giving it a second thought, she began running, but to somewhere she’d never thought she would run to.   
She ran home.   
Shards of crystal flew from her mind as she finally, finally broke out, running not away from something but to something. The crystal she’d been trapped in for so long had finally shattered; she knew she wasn’t going to rot somewhere cold and lonely anymore. Her feet pounded on the icy roads, blood and tears dripping from her, when she finally came to the door, his door, and slapped her fists against its wooden surface.   
Sobs erupted from her while she continued to hit his door, waiting for what seemed like an eternity until it finally creaked open and Annie swore she felt her heart swell up at the sight of a very sleepy Armin Arlert. His blond hair was tousled and his blue eyes were narrowed into slits and two of the buttons on his black shirt were unbuttoned—he probably just woke up (it was almost two in the morning after all). But his expression changed dramatically when he saw Annie’s current state. “A-Annie?”   
She wept his name and then choked out “I’m sorry” as she felt Armin’s arms wrap around her, taking her out of the cold and into the warmth of his home.   
She heard the front door slam shut and Armin’s shaky voice whisper in her ear, “You’re here. You’re really here.” She felt his lips repeatedly press against her temple, ear, cheekbone, and jawline, his fingers tangling themselves in her hair. Her own fingers gripped at his back and she buried her face in the crook of his neck, bawling how sorry she was.   
They stayed like this for the longest time. When they finally convinced themselves that their significant other was really there, standing right in front of them, they stepped back to look at each other’s eyes, Armin’s hands on her shoulders, Annie’s hands grasping at his forearms.   
“Annie, where were you? Are you hurt?” Although relief still lingered in his voice, worry and concern crawled back in.   
Annie couldn’t answer him properly—all that came out of her mouth were her hysterical cries and the words “I’m sorry”. She just had to let him know that, above all else. She promised them both that she would never hurt him ever again.   
“Annie, please tell me what’s…” His sentence trailed off once he saw the large red stains on the cuffs of Annie’s white sweatshirt. The sight of Armin’s face falling in horror made Annie’s stomach knot up in guilt. His trembling fingers slowly peeled back the wet fabric and Annie seriously thought that he was going to have a heart attack.   
His other hand slapped against his open mouth just as a small but horrified gasp escaped from his lips. Tears formed in his big eyes and flowed down his cheeks and seep through the gaps in his fingers. His gaze flickered from wrist to wrist like he was trying to decide which one looked worse. “Why…” he managed in a low, unsteady voice. “Why would you do such a thing to yourself?”   
She tried to swallow a sob as he gently held her blood-coated fingers, staining his own peachy skin with her dark blood. “I-I’m sorry…” She looked him in the eye. “Please help me.”   
All it took were those little words for Armin to rush her over to the nearest bathroom, switch on running water, and grab the first aid kit. He pushed her sleeves up and carried the back of her left wrist like it made of glass, so fragile, easily breakable. He then slid his other hand into hers and told her to squeeze if she was in any pain. She did as she was told once her injured wrist was placed under the running water.   
Cleaning the wounds was the longest and most painful part of the whole process. Annie truly believed that she would break Armin’s hand if she squeezed any longer, so she transferred over to biting her lip. But as soon as a thick and narrow line trickled down her chin, she felt Armin seize her jaw roughly and glare straight at her.   
“If you keep hurting yourself, then you can’t keep using the same bullshit excuse saying how sorry you are,” he muttered in a voice that was not his.   
After seeing Annie’s frightened reaction, Armin softened his expression and added, “If you want help, then let me help you.”   
She let him wash the rest of the blood out, leaving his hands bright red when he was done.   
Before Armin splashed some clear liquid into the openings on her wrists, she snuck a peek at her injuries and flinched at what she saw. She apparently cut so deep that her actual muscles could be seen among the faded blood and blue veins; it looked like a slab of meat to her. And when the sharp stinging of the medicine had passed, she spotted a few white bubbles shifting around her meaty muscle.   
“You cut yourself pretty deep,” Armin murmured, more to himself than to her, as he reached for the first aid kit and plucked out some thread and a needle. And then, with a deep breath and adding in a quieter voice, he said, “I can do this.” He then pushed the white box to the other side of the sink and then leaned down a bit to wrap his arms around Annie’s waist, lift her up, and place her on the bloodied sink.   
“This shouldn’t hurt too much,” he went on, preparing his needle and thread. “But if it does, just grab my arm.” A second later, he rested his forehead against hers, just like he did on their first date.   
“Don’t worry. I’m right here.”   
Annie held on to those words and closed her eyes, feeling heavy tears outlining her damp cheeks. She couldn’t really feel Armin stitching her skin together though. Armin eventually asked her what had she been doing for the past three months, to which she responded with the truth. She told him about all those icy nights and Three Walls and Ymir offering her dull knife and the Female Titan’s haunting voice pounding in her head. She didn’t tell him about Reiner and Berthold however, mainly because they weren’t a part of Armin’s question and she didn’t particularly want to talk about them.   
“And then I came here,” she concluded, a huge weight being lifted from her shoulders. Her wet eyelids slowly peeled open to find Armin staring at her. She glanced down at her wrists—bandages encircled her repaired skin from her knuckles to the middle of her forearm. She also realized her sweatshirt was no longer on her body and something large and padded stuck to the nape of her neck. Just how long had she been zoned out with her depressing story?   
Annie looked back at Armin, who gazed longingly at her, and asked, “How long have I been talking?”   
“About an hour.”   
“When did you stop fixing my wounds?”   
“Thirty minutes ago.”   
Her eyes drifted downward, her vision becoming blurry again. “I really am sorry.”   
“I know.” He hesitantly reached out and very gently held her cold, stiff fingers. Some silent moments passed through before Armin finally said, “Please give me the knife.”   
Annie paused but eventually stuffed her bandaged hand down her back pocket and pulled out Ymir’s bloody switchblade. Armin winced at the sight of Annie’s dark blood drenching the small weapon as he took it and hid it in his own back pocket. He then wiped away the sorrowful look on his face with his kind smile and sincere blue eyes. “How about a good night’s sleep? You definitely look like you need it.” As he said this, his fingers brushed against Annie’s stained cheeks, smearing the last of her tears away.   
She said nothing as he led her by the hand to a small bedroom where he went to shut the blinds on the window while Annie tucked herself into bed, embracing her body with the heavy covers. She didn’t lie down but sat still when Armin came over to plant a kiss upon her head.   
“I’ll be in the other room if you need me,” he stated. Panic burst through her chest once Armin’s back turned toward her and her hand unexpectedly flew out and gripped the corner of his shirt. Armin stumbled a bit but Annie held on tight, clutching onto him for dear life.   
“Please don’t leave me alone,” she begged, her eyebrows scrunched up, her lips quivering. Nothing happened for a while but she eventually felt the bed sink down and Armin’s thin arms wrap around her torso, his chin resting on her shoulder.   
No words were exchanged for the rest of the night. All Annie heard was Armin’s heartbeat as she lied her head on his narrow chest once her eyelids dropped and sleep overtook her way sooner than she had expected.   
Right before the darkness evaded her mind and the usual bad dreams stirred within her imagination, Annie sensed Armin’s hold on her tighten, burying his head into the crook of her neck, a tear splash against her collarbone, and the feel of his smile against her shoulder blade.   
“Welcome home, Annie.”


	14. Finally

For the next several days, Annie wouldn’t let Armin out of her sight, to which Armin completely understood (he wouldn’t let her out of his sight either, after not seeing her at all in such a long time). So when they both woke up the following afternoon and Armin had asked her if she wanted to wash up, she nodded her head but tangled herself further into his embrace.   
He found it extremely cute and ended up carrying her to the bathroom anyway.   
After thirty minutes of Annie sitting patiently in the full bathtub, observing the somewhat healing scars on her wrists, while Armin kneeled beside the tub and washed Annie’s hair, sometimes getting lost in the feel of it, he then dressed her up in some of his clothes, which fit her surprisingly well.   
With a small hint of irritation deep in his chest, he quickly decided that he was going to start working out.   
He also put fresh bandages and band-aids on Annie’s neck and wrists, lightly kissing them afterwards. He then smiled widely and laughed and pecked her nose when he saw Annie blush heavily at his actions.   
“How did you know to treat my wounds?” Annie questioned him later on when he brought over their brunch to the living room couch where Annie sat with the big, white comforter from Armin’s bed folded around her shoulders.   
He handed her plate to her (filled with buttered toast, scrambled eggs, and cubed fruit along with a tall glass of orange juice) and sat down next to her. “My grandfather was a short-time doctor during World War II. He taught me some things.”   
“Why short-time?” She chewed on her toast.   
Armin sipped his orange juice. “He didn’t like the things he saw, all the hatred and bloodshed that humanity caused. He talks about it a lot though; I think he wants people to know what mankind did, no matter how terrible it all is.” He glanced at her, grinning. “To remember how strong and barbaric we once were.”   
Annie smirked back. “Now I know where you get your wisdom from.”   
He chuckled. “And where, may I ask, do you get your shyness from?”   
She narrowed her eyes. “I’m not shy.”   
“Yes you are.”   
“I just don’t like talking.”   
“That means you’re shy.”   
“No it fucking doesn’t.”   
“Don’t worry; I think it’s cute.”   
“Shut up, coconut head.”   
That’s how the first few days went. They mainly stayed in Armin’s apartment during the freezing snowstorms that raged on for a week. The two bickered, ate, slept, kissed, talked, and read together—and it was perfect.   
However, Annie did little strange things from time to time.   
He would often catch her staring intensely into nothing as if someone were talking to her or her eyes would flicker wildly around the room as if hundreds of birds were flying about the apartment. Sometimes she responded to this invisible being, mumbling something inaudible to Armin’s ears. On rare occasions she would do this in the middle of her sentence. Her head would turn sharply to the side and she’d whisper something harsh to nothing. And then she’d attempt to harm herself in some way like pitching the skin on her thumb or chop down on her bottom lip.   
That’s when Armin came into play.   
His job was to stop her self-harm (hold her hand or softly kiss her lips) and ask her what’s wrong. She never answered though. She would only interlace their fingers or deepen the kiss.   
He also had woken her up many times throughout the night because he either heard her talking or crying in her sleep. Her cries were heartbreaking and her exclaims always resembled a nightmare: “no”, “stop”, “don’t”. He also heard “Dad” and “home” and even his own name at times. The noises always scared him (for Annie’s sake) so he’d carefully run a hand through her unkempt hair and tell her gentle promises: “Shh, everything’s okay”, “you’re okay, I’m right here”, “it’s just a nightmare, it’ll be over soon”.   
She’d eventually stop and sleep peacefully for the rest of the night.   
The time came when Armin asked her if it would be okay to schedule an appointment with Professor Hanji at the Psych Ward at Rose Hospital.   
After a very long period of silence, Annie slowly nodded her head.   
Hanji, therefore, was the first to learn of Annie’s return. Armin actually had to pull the phone away from his ear her squeals were much too high and chaotic. Annie heard Hanji’s delighted cries from across the room and, by the way her face twisted in confusion and worry, Armin was forced to conjure up some sort of smile that read “I-promise-she’s-a-scientist-and-not-a-mental-patient”.   
He arranged an appointment for next week and then went to update his friends and grandfather on the found girl’s arrival. Eren and Mikasa were pleased at the news (Eren more so than Mikasa) and requested to be updated often. Connie and Sasha were very excited; Sasha promised Annie all the free coffee in the world and Connie complained that he never actually saw the small blonde. Marco and Jean had different views on the matter—Marco was glad to hear that Armin was happy again but Jean took it as proof that he “really wasn’t gay after all”.   
Armin’s face must’ve warped into something of pure disappointment or displeasure because then he heard Annie giggling from the kitchen counter. He turned just in time to see her cover her mouth and look away. Because he was distracted by the rare and charming sound, he unknowingly left Jean hanging on the phone, asking if he was still there or not.   
“Armin? Hello? Did you seriously just hang up on me?” A frustrated huff blew through the speaker.   
“Yes, sorry. I’m still here.” He grinned mischievously over at Annie. “I was just telling Annie how much of a horse-face you have.”   
“I DO NOT, DAMMIT!”   
Armin shielded his phone so Jean couldn’t hear his and Annie’s laughter.   
And, of course, Armin’s grandfather said that he was proud of both Armin and Annie, adding that a visit from them was to be required in the future. The dreamer smiled into the phone and told him something of the sort could be arranged soon.   
On the night before Annie’s appointment with Professor (or Doctor) Hanji, he felt something poke his shoulder and Annie’s voice whisper, “Armin?” Concern was the first emotion he felt as he turned over while rubbing his eyes furiously, trying to wake himself up.   
“Huh? What? What is it?” He peeked at Annie’s wide blue eyes, practically glowing in the dark like cat’s eyes. She looked as though she wanted to say something but didn’t know how to.   
“Annie, honey? Are you okay?” He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.   
She stared at him a while longer before her mouth slowly opened and murmured, “I think I love you.”   
Butterflies rose to his chest at those words and he felt his heartbeat pick up rapidly. His eyes widened and, for a moment, he had forgotten how to breathe. A million thoughts ran through his mind at once and he couldn’t make anything out until he noticed Annie’s face heat up in embarrassment and her glowing eyes crinkle in worry. “Say something already.”   
“No, I, um—” Blood rushed quickly to his face, but despite the shock and nervousness he felt, he knew he was sure of one thing. He leaned forward, placed his hands on either side of her burning face, and then softly kissed her lips, tasting her longer than usual. When he retracted his lips a bit, he stared yearningly at Annie with a slight smile.   
“I love you too,” he said as he wrapped his arms around her waist and dragged her on top of him, their lips never parting.   
Several hours later, the blond duo found themselves sitting in the bright waiting room of the Psych Ward at Rose Hospital. When Armin checked in at the reception desk, the nurse behind the counter said that it would take Doctor Hanji another minute because she was finishing up with a couple other patients. Armin thanked her and went to sit down next to Annie in a spare chair.   
That was forty-five minutes ago.   
Annie’s head was now resting on Armin’s shoulder, her eyelids drooping heavily. Armin’s were about to close too, when he heard a door creak open and a low voice call out, “Annie Leonhart?”   
Armin gently nudged Annie awake and offered his hand to her, which she hesitantly took, and helped her stand up. They followed the tall, sandy blond doctor through the backdoor and down a long corridor until he stopped to open a door on the right, letting Annie and Armin inside first before telling them that Hanji would be right with them.   
“So another hour then?” Annie muttered under her breath as she plopped onto another chair, Armin laughing at her displeasure with the situation. But this time, they only waited about five minutes when Hanji burst through the door with the same blond doctor from before.   
“Whew! Sorry I’m late!” Hanji exclaimed, walking into the room. “Sonny and Bean just refused to stay in their rooms, which is why I’m covered in slobber.” She wiped something dripping from her glasses and then turned to Annie with an overly excited expression. “So you’re the one and only Miss Annie Leonhart! I’ve heard so much about you and your wonderful brain! I can’t wait to run some tests on you!”   
“Doctor!” the blond nurse called, yanking Hanji back from Annie’s personal space.   
Hanji laughed loudly. “Oh, Moblit, so young and innocent. That’ll change soon enough.” She cracked her knuckles. “Let’s get started, shall we?”   
For the next hour, Hanji poked and prodded at Annie, checking and asking for basic health information, which Annie gave without managing to snap Hanji’s neck in half (Armin was very thankful for that). The four-eyed scientist rambled on about all sorts of mental diseases and Armin could clearly tell that Annie was quickly losing her patience so whenever Hanji’s back was turned, he’d gently squeeze her hand, restoring life into her.   
They eventually went on to CAT scans.   
This was the scariest part, for Armin at least. He didn’t like seeing Annie dressed up in a hospital gown, wires sticking into her, as she allowed herself to be swallowed up by beeping machines and high-functioning devices. Annie, however, looked extremely tired and hollow, like she didn’t care anymore. Once Hanji had finished scanning her body and brain, she told her that she could change back into her regular clothes. She started heading in the direction of the bathroom, but instead turned to Armin at the last second and faceplanted into his chest, grumbling about how she wanted to go home now. He sighed and put his arms around her, rubbing her back. “I know, sweetheart. It’ll be over soon.”   
He peeked over at Hanji and her assistant, Moblit, who peeked back at them with curiosity. Hanji bit on her bottom lip with a tight smile, her eyes glued to them as her arms flailed behind her, grasped Moblit’s arm, and squeezed hard, shrieking in glee. Moblit tried to pry his limb away as his boss whispered loudly to him, “They’re so freakin’ cute!”   
The last part of the appointment required Hanji speaking to Armin and Annie—separately.   
Armin said that he’d go first; he gave Annie a quick smile and followed Hanji into her office. It didn’t take too long—he told Hanji everything that Annie told him and all the strange things she’d done in the past week: he mentioned the voice in her head (the “Female Titan” as Annie tend to call it), the unspeakable things she’d supposedly did in her past, and what she did to herself when she came back home.   
“Professor Hanji, can I ask you something?”   
Hanji looked up from her notes. “Of course, Armin.”   
He swallowed, unsure of how to say this. “W-Will she be okay? Please, it’s just, she’s been through so much and I don’t know how much more she can take before she does something reckless again.” He sighed heavily. “I just want her to be happy.”   
For the first time that day, Hanji expressed a serious look, very sure of herself. “Well, I won’t get the final results for a few days, so I can’t tell you if she’ll be accepted into society or not. If worse comes to worse, I’ll have to keep her here at the ward until she’s ready to go out in public.”   
Armin knew she was going to say that, but that didn’t stop the powerful feeling of dread striking his chest. He lowered his head into his hands and felt his shoulders tense up. He only looked back up when Hanji called his name and placed her hand upon his head. Hanji had sympathy in her eyes, but also plenty of determination. “Look, we both know that something is seriously wrong with Annie—I don’t need a picture of her brain to know that she’s not normal. All day she’s been mumbling to herself and constantly looking over her shoulder like someone’s there. And don’t get me started on the cuts on her wrists and neck. I’m actually surprised you didn’t call an ambulance.”   
Hanji’s expression softened a bit, ruffling his golden hair. “But then again if you’re always there for her, how bad could her life get?”   
Armin smiled at her words, but nervously glanced up at her hand, which was still tangled up in his blond locks. Hanji removed her hand, laughing. “Sorry! Levi always ruffles my hair whenever I’m sad.”


	15. Answers and Confessions

Neither Annie nor Armin spoke on the way home, and it felt good. Peaceful, even.   
It was in the early evening when they arrived. Annie walked over to the refrigerator and grabbed a water bottle. She could feel Armin’s eyes on her, though she had grown used to it over the past week so she thought nothing of it. But as soon as she was about to take a sip, his hand reached out and disheveled her hair, like he was petting a dog.   
Annie glared at him. “What are you doing?”   
Armin quickly withdrew his hand. “Ah, nothing! I-I was just testing something.”   
She raised an eyebrow. “Okay?” She then slowly began to feel the bun on the back of her head sag, strands of her fine hair collapsing to the nape of her neck, to the thick bandage that protected her scars. Huffing loudly, she yanked the rubber band out, letting the rest of her hair fall around her shoulders. She went to retie her hair back up, but was stopped short by Armin’s hand on her arm.   
He looked at her with the utmost sincerity. “You’re so—”   
“Don’t.”   
“What?”   
“Just don’t.”   
Armin frowned, hugging her small body, the rubber band dropping to the floor. “Why can’t you accept a compliment?”   
Her arms dangled at her sides, inhaling his familiar scent of dusty books and clean fabric. “Because I’m not…beautiful.”   
“Yes, you are.”   
“Inside I’m not.” She exhaled. “Do I really look like such a good person to you?”   
At that, Armin pressed his forehead to hers, hands attached to her waist, a slight smile spreading across his face. “You’re good for me, if that’s what you mean.”   
But before Annie could give out a proper answer, she felt the dreamer lean toward her and kiss her fully on the lips. She smirked against his thin lips and then kissed him back. The two stood there for a moment, staring at each other, their hearts starting to beat faster the longer they gazed.   
And then, all of a sudden, that sweet little kiss turned into something much deeper and more meaningful.   
Annie’s mind took a minute to process what exactly was going on as Armin closed the space between them and held her warmly, his lips stirring against hers with passionate and love-felt movements. Her face heated up but she didn’t care. Because of the way his hands traced her muscular figure and how her heart pounded against her ribcage, practically jumping out of her chest and into his arms, she quickly decided that she wanted him, right then and there.   
She heard Armin squeak a little when she broke their lip-lock and pushed him against the kitchen counter. Her pale hands forced themselves into his soft hair as her mouth grabbed at his own. She began to worry when Armin’s body didn’t melt with hers, but instead, stood straight like a pole.   
Shit. Armin obviously didn’t like where this was going. How was she to fix this? Her broken mind wasn’t sure how love functioned. But then she felt somewhat relived as his gentle hands hovered over her jawline, fingertips brushing her skin. She continued kissing him for a while before she moved to unbutton his shirt. She thought he was going to stop her (she wouldn’t be surprised) but he didn’t; he just cradled her shattered brain. She dragged her palms across his slender chest, smooth and a little cold, faintly feeling his ribs and hipbones.   
But as soon as she went to remove her baggy T-shirt over her head, Armin’s hands pushed down on her own.   
“Wait,” he mumbled, pulling away from Annie’s lock on him. He glanced down at her with concern, his lips shiny with Annie’s saliva. “We’ve never went this far before.”   
“Yeah, so?” She reached for her shirt again. He then grasped her fingers and held them close. She glared.   
“So,” he added, “I want to make sure that we’re both okay with it.”   
“Are you okay with it?”   
He thought for a moment. “I think so.”   
“Then I don’t understand your problem.”   
She felt him carefully squeeze her fingers. “I just don’t want you to have anymore regrets.”   
Annie paused. Now she understood. She regret leaving Armin all those months ago, she regret not departing from her father sooner, she regret many things she did in her past with Reiner and Berthold. However, once she looked up at Armin’s ocean blue eyes, she knew that she wasn’t making any mistakes when it came to him. He was the one thing she did right.   
She smiled at him, a real and honest smile, something she hadn’t done before. “I know I won’t regret you.”   
Armin stared at her for the longest time, his gaze constantly switching from her teeth to her ice blue eyes. And then his own smile spread across his face—it started out slow but ended up being so wide, it looked like it physically hurt him. He called her smile the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen; for once she didn’t argue with him, but instead, took his honest opinion.   
After that, Armin wrapped one arm around Annie’s back and the other around the back of her knees, lifting her up and heading over to his bedroom, Annie kicking the door close behind them. That was where they made love for the first time.   
Annie thought that if she couldn’t hear his heart beating heavily, then she was too far away. She was beginning to believe that was her favorite sound but then changed her mind when he murmured her name as he dragged his lips across her bare skin, lust and affection dripping from his longing tone. Sometimes her fingernails would dig into his shoulder blades—not because she was in pain; he moved so slowly and gently. But because she didn’t want him to disappear, like she did to him. She never wanted to part with him. She wanted to know that she was loved and cherished.   
Some time had passed and the two souls lied next to one another, their limbs tangled together, their blond hair tousled about, their breathing pattern a little heavy. Heat radiated from their naked bodies despite the cold weather. The puffy white covers shielded them from the waist down, their torsos pressed against each other.   
Annie’s head was resting against Armin’s chest, his hand interlaced with hers while his other hand slowly stroked through her messy hair. She rose and fell along with his panting chest and heard his heart pound wildly within him. Her drooping eyelids struggled to stay open as she peered through the small, darkened window across from the bed, watching all the city lights outside. She didn’t want to fall asleep; she wanted to stay awake with him, to remember everything, to never let him leave her line of sight.   
She slowly blinked. She turned her head so that she faced her lover’s bare chest. Her half-lidded eyes took note of multiple minute bulges under the skin (his ribs, no doubt) and the scent of sweat drifted up her nose; she was glad to catch the faint smell of dusty books still lingering on him. She kissed the hollow space between his ribcage and smirked to herself when she heard Armin hum in satisfaction. She then crawled closer to his grinning face and leaned her sweaty forehead against his, holding him tightly.   
“I love you, Annie,” Armin told her as he started to trace her facial features with his pointer finger. He lightly sketched out her thick lips, her long nose, her high cheekbones, her sharp jawline. She bit on the inside of her cheek to keep herself from smiling like an idiot. He had been telling her that often lately; it made her chest swell up in bliss.   
Her teeth pried away from her flesh, unable to stop her rare and loving smile from curling upon her lips. Armin smiled back, gliding his finger along her tilted lips again. “You should smile more often; it looks good on you.”   
“Shut up,” she replied playfully, burying her smiling face into the side of his neck. Armin laughed at her reaction, wrapping his arms around her waist as he went to roll on top of her, the bed squeaking slightly beneath them. She felt him move his lips with hers for a long moment, pull away a bit, and resume their unintentional staring contest, a tiny grin presented upon his thankful expression.   
This went on for a while, unbreaking gazes and tender touches, when Annie said what had been on her mind for quite some time: “What do you think’s wrong with me?”   
Armin blinked. “Um…” He nervously brushed away some of his golden bangs. “What do you mean?”   
“You know what I mean.”   
He sighed. “I can’t diagnose you with anything.”   
“I’m not asking you to diagnose me. I’m just asking for your opinion.”   
Armin then gave Annie a small kiss on the cheek. “Let’s not talk about that right now. We still have a few more hours until we have to get up.” He took his place beside her on the bed, his head resting on her collarbones, his arms enfolded around her body like a teddy bear.   
“I promise you’ll be okay,” she heard him mumble into her chest some time later.   
Her gaze aimed towards his face, but she couldn’t get a good look at him with all that ruffled hair tossed about. However, she did spot his long, blond eyelashes poking out from behind his hair, unmoving. His breathing pattern returned to normal and she felt his arms loosen around her—he already fell into a deep sleep.   
She couldn’t help but to grin at all the adorableness happening before her. She let her hand comb through his soft hair, just like what he did to her earlier. Part of her was glad that Armin fell asleep before her which meant she could finally get some rest. But another part of her was a little upset that she missed her opportunity to tell him what she told Doctor Hanji during her appointment at the hospital.   
The things she should’ve told him a long time ago.   
When the morning sun rose, so did Armin and Annie.   
As hours passed, Annie finally found the courage (and some silence from the Female Titan) to inform her dreamer of her dreadful past and actions. She asked him if she could talk to him, to which, Armin beamed brightly and agreed, following her to the loveseat in the living room. Her brain suddenly reminded her that this was the place where they had most of their serious or life-changing discussions.   
While Annie brought her knees up to her chest, sinking lowly into the couch cushions with her arms enveloped around her thighs, Armin sat up straight with his hands in his lap. He turned his head and smiled at her encouragingly until she finally decided to open her mouth and spill out several acts of crime that she had committed, though it all came out in a trembling wave.   
She admitted that she alone had stolen various items from various places, including hygiene products and small pieces of clothing from gas stations and tiny portions of food (like an apple or a candy bar) from the grocery store. When she first ran away about a year ago, she would sometimes beat up obnoxious teenagers or lonely adults for money or something to help her get through another night. She even described to Armin how one time she broke the bulky nose of a stubborn teen with a really bad undercut. And she didn’t forget to tell the tale of how she outran (barely) a security officer while rummaging through a trashcan for food on college campus.   
“And then I met these two guys,” Annie explained, pursing her lips together for a moment. Now came the hardest part.   
She peeked at Armin. Over time, Annie and Armin had shifted positions on the couch—she’d been speaking for a long time, after all—and was surprised to find him in almost the same position as her. Although her legs were off to the side, Armin had leaned back into the cushions and was staring up at the ceiling, fingers interlaced on his stomach and his legs stretched out before him. No emotion passed over his face as he turned his head to look at her.   
“Oh?” he said, proving to her that he was listening. “What were they like?”   
She frowned and looked back at the ceiling. “I knew them for a while and I hated them.”   
She felt his body stiffen beside her. “Why?”   
“They…made me do something horrible. Something I didn’t want to do.” She swallowed hard, drew in a shaky breath, and proceeded to tell her story.   
“It was October and way pass midnight when…let’s call them Armored and Colossal, okay? Anyway, I was walking down the sidewalk when Armored and Colossal came running at me. They grabbed me and dragged me into a narrow alleyway. I got mad and asked them what was going on. Armored said that some kid saw him beat up another homeless person for their jacket and started chasing after them. I told them that I didn’t want any part of it; they were always causing trouble. But, as usual, they didn’t listen. They wouldn’t let me leave. Armored stood by the opening of the alleyway, looking out into the street, searching for that kid that was supposedly chasing them. And then, suddenly, I heard someone running down the sidewalk, out of breath. As they came closer, Armored quickly reached out, grabbed the guy, and smashed him against the brick wall, face first.   
“Armored held his head against the wall while he pushed the guy’s left wrist into his back. I saw the right side of his face—he was just a kid, about my age. He had short black hair, big golden brown eyes, and he had lots of freckles across his cheeks. I remember him wearing a uniform of some sort—like a school uniform. There was something sewn onto his shirt. It kinda reminded me of a police badge, but he wasn’t a cop.”   
For some reason, Annie heard Armin stifle a gasp behind his lips. Annie’s mind was so focused on what happened that day that she ignored his unknown shock. “Armored told Colossal to keep watch outside while he told me to take care of the kid. I tried playing dumb, but he’s too smart; ‘he saw too much’ was his excuse. He told me to kill him.” Her voice cracked at the word “kill”.   
“I said no, I didn’t want to do it, they were the ones who started the whole thing. I had nothing to do with it. B-But he kept yelling at me, saying that there was no other way. He said the whole world is our enemy…” She took a deep breath, trying her best not to cry. “That was what my father used to say to me, so it—it really got to me. Dug under my skin. I looked at the boy and he was struggling against Armored. He cried and screamed and tried to plead with us. He said that we should just talk, figure something out. I desperately wanted that, but Armored and Colossal didn’t. And so I…hurt him really bad.”   
Her vision went blurry. “It didn’t last long though. Colossal spotted someone coming down the street, so we left him there in the alleyway with his right arm broken and his face beaten to a bloody pulp. I watched that someone carry him across his shoulders like a solider and rush to the hospital. I haven’t seen him since.”   
Armin nodded slowly, looking pale. “That was Jean. Jean took Marco to the hospital that night.”   
Annie’s head snapped toward him. “Did you know him?”   
“I do.”   
Her arms automatically embraced his body and pushed her face into his shoulder. “I’m sorry,” she apologized honestly.   
But he did not hug her back.


	16. That's Okay

“Schizophrenia.”   
Armin and Annie thought about the word that passed Doctor Hanji’s lips. Armin already knew that the incurable disease could be the explanation for Annie’s strange behavior (Hanji actually taught him this in his psychology class with her). From what he learned, schizophrenia was a mental disorder that caused the person to be caught in between reality and fantasy. Symptoms included hallucinations, bizarre or violent behavior, social withdrawal, and the inability to concentrate or sleep. No one really knows the cause of the illness or how to treat it exactly.   
Besides locking them up in an asylum and feeding them useless drugs.   
Armin glanced at Annie, who looked at Hanji like she was the one with schizophrenia. Another thing he learned about schizophrenics was to never tell them they were crazy or that the situations they created weren’t real—it only worsens their condition and no matter what, they won’t believe you.   
“The good news though,” Hanji continued on before Annie could break one of her limbs, “is that you’re mature enough to make reasonable decisions for yourself so I don’t think putting you in the Psych Ward is necessary.”   
“You’re damn right,” Annie muttered under her breath, low enough for Hanji to pass by without hearing but clear enough for Armin to glare at her rudeness.   
“But I am gonna have you take some different pills to see which one is the best at killing off the Female Titan.” Her honey colored eyes widened dangerously behind her thick glasses. “We’ll be the ones devouring her whole.”   
He felt Annie’s hand relax a bit in his grasp under the desk at Hanji’s exclamation. His eyes glanced at his love and then back at the doctor. Was that how Hanji became so successful in her career? She could easily relate to almost anyone, especially ones with mental disorders, which made her seem trustworthy and dependable, even self-isolated beings like Annie Leonhart.   
“To my understanding, you’re living with Mr. Arlert here, which I think is a safe and healthy environment for you.” Hanji shuffled some papers around on her cluttered desk. “I also have Mr. Arlert’s—” She suddenly stuck out her tongue and gagged. “Ugh, I hate acting all professional.” And with that, she ran a hand through her wavy hair, undid two buttons on her lab coat, and leaned back in her chair. Armin couldn’t help but to smirk—there was the Hanji he knew.   
“I also have Armin’s granddad as a backup as well as your father, but…” The scientist peered at Annie. “I have very little information about him. Annie, I need to know more—talk to him preferably.”   
“No.” Annie frowned, tensing up again. “That’s what she wants. She wants me to go back to my father. She knows I don’t like it there and will do anything to get me back. And besides…I’ve tried already.”   
“You’ve tried speaking with your father?”   
“The Female Titan wanted me to go to my father’s house, but I only had enough nerve to visit Rightful Ruler. I thought he would be there. Turns out he wasn’t and—” she glanced at her audience “—well, you know the rest.”   
“I’m trying to figure out how the Female Titan got to you,” Hanji said. “Maybe she came from your dad?”   
Armin took his hand and began to stroke Annie’s hand that intertwined with his right one while he studied her facial features. She pondered Hanji’s suggestion before shrugging her shoulders and replying, “I always thought she followed me from my mother’s womb, that she’s always been with me.”   
Hanji nodded. “That’s a possibility.”   
Annie nodded in return. Then Armin noticed a slight grin curve upon her lips. He knew that Annie felt like Hanji and Armin were on her side, believing her when she said that there was someone else inside her. Armin felt like there was something inside her, something that latched onto her when she was a child, her mind completely shattered by her father’s cruel ways.   
His eyebrows upturned a little when the thought of Annie never being able to live a normal life crossed his brain. Schizophrenia was a long-term disease that required the patient to take many small pills everyday and go to the Psych Ward every now and then to talk to a doctor about her progress.   
And if she wasn’t doing well, then she’d have to stay in a cell behind a locked door with minimal contact from her loved ones.   
They eventually left the hospital with another appointment scheduled for next month and a small orange bottle filled with tiny blue tablets for Annie to try.   
It was now March so the cool wind was gentle and small birds chirped excitedly. Melting piles of snow were shoved onto curbs, giving vehicles more space to drive but taking away room for people to walk. Even though Armin knew Annie was more than capable of handling herself physically and was much stronger than him, he still held her hand tightly as they sauntered about the slushy snow and hard cement.   
Armin was going on about the psychology class Professor Hanji taught last semester and the most interesting experience he had during that time when he felt himself come to an unexpected halt. His wide eyes snapped over to his hand, which Annie still had her grip on. The schizophrenic girl, however, was staring across the street at an empty alleyway. He then realized that they both knew that cold, dark alleyway; it held many memories and it made him think twice about all the things he and Annie had been through, looking at how far they’ve come.   
He noticed Annie turn her head toward Springer’s Café on their right. Her gaze lingered on the glass doors that stood a few feet from them. Nothing was exchanged between the two soulmates for quite some time before Annie finally broke the silence and said, “Let’s go in.”   
Armin complied.   
The café itself wasn’t very busy—only around five people were present in the coffee shop. Armin hadn’t been inside Springer’s in such a long time that the overwhelming smell of caffeine drinks and freshly baked muffins nearly knocked him over. Low murmurs echoed throughout the shop as people spoke quietly amongst themselves, similar to the interior of a library. The quiet hum of active coffee machines could be heard coming from the back, where he hoped Sasha or Connie was also in the back keeping an eye on it.   
Sasha and Connie, thought Armin. Eren and Mikasa.   
Just as he remembered those names, he spotted his best friends, who he hadn’t seen in a month, sitting at their usual table towards the center of the shop. He watched the brunet turn his head in his direction and his green eyes light up in enthusiasm. The raven-haired girl did the same, but she surprisingly stood up first to greet him, a kind smile spreading over her small features.   
The next thing he knew Eren and Mikasa were nearly tackling him to the ground with bone-crushing hugs and exclamations of joy.   
A whole month without much contact from his childhood friends had been, by far, the longest the trio had gone through without seeing each other. Their warm embraces and thankful smiles brought back wonderful memories for Armin. They stood there in each other’s arms for a while, laughing and grinning and squeezing. As soon as the dreamer broke away from Eren and Mikasa’s grasp, he was tackled again by another pair of arms—this time it was Sasha and Connie.   
The odd duo screamed his name as Connie faked tears of happiness and Sasha lifted him high in the air, her arms around his torso, his spine slowly breaking. Armin wasn’t as close to these two as he was with Eren and Mikasa, but still felt the love they gave him and missed them terribly.   
Sasha eventually put him back down and that’s when the questions came at him like bullets. “Where have you been?” “How’ve you been?” “Is Annie alright?” “Did you want coffee? Cause, like, the coffee machine is broken.”   
One word stuck out the most among the series of questions being thrown at him. Armin tried to peek over Connie’s shaven head to see Annie standing off to the side, staring at his friends with an emotionless look on her face. He grinned and then glanced back at his close companions.   
“I’ve been here all along; I haven’t gone anywhere. I’m just fine, thanks. I’m great actually—never been better. And Annie…well…” His hand reached pass Connie and Sasha and out to take Annie’s snow white one, pulling her over to his side. “She’s going to be okay.” The two blondes gazed at each other, Armin squeezing her hand reassuringly before turning back to Connie. “What did you do to the coffee machine?”   
The boy’s smiling face quickly changed into one of pure shock: his jaw dropped open, his golden eyes widened, his barely visible eyebrows pointed downward. “Why do you always assume it was me?” he exclaimed in a high-pitched voice, proving his guiltiness. Everyone laughed at his reaction (even Annie smirked a little).   
Just then, Armin felt the door behind him bump against his back, causing him to stumble forward a bit—without Annie’s iron grip on his hand, he probably would’ve fallen flat on his face. The group glanced at the entrance and recognized two more faces looking back at them.   
“Jeanie!” Sasha and Connie shouted in unison, their arms spread wide, their lips pulled back into goofy grins.   
At the sight, Jean rolled his eyes with an annoyed groan. He tried to spin around and head back the way he came, but a hand grabbed his shoulder, bringing him to a halt. A snicker came from the owner of the hand as his familiar face peeked into the coffee shop.   
“Oh, hey everyone!” greeted Marco Bott, continuing to push Jean into the room with his left hand, his smile wide. “What’s up?”   
While the rest of the group answered back thoughtfully, Armin could feel Annie’s hand slowly stiffen in his grasp like she was suddenly very uncomfortable. He looked down at her, noticing that her wide eyes were set on Marco’s face—or what was left of it anyway.   
A few uneven scars crisscrossed all over the right side of his freckled face, his upper lip a little swollen still, his eyebrow ripped down the middle. Some of his freckles were placed awkwardly—some were overlapping each other—but that was to be expected when all the doctors could do was try to sew his skin back together. His right arm was still in a sling but, according to Marco himself, the several shattered bones in his arm were getting better every day.   
Now, as everyone but Armin, Annie, and Marco strolled further into the shop whilst chatting among themselves, the knowledgeable dreamer knew what the past runaway was thinking. She was the cause of this injured man’s pain and suffering and long road to recovery. Instead of hiding her emotions behind her usual impassive glare, she let her guilt widen her eyes and tremble her lips.   
Marco finally glanced down at her. “You must be Annie. It’s nice to finally meet you.” He shook her hand with his free one. “Armin talks about you all the time. I was wondering the other day when Jean and I would get to see you!”   
He gave a friendly laugh, but neither Annie nor Armin returned the gesture. The blond boy remembered Marco saying that he didn’t know who caused such violent harm on him that night—it was too dark for him to tell so that’s why he doesn’t recognize Annie at all. Armin gave her one last squeeze before releasing her hand. He then watched Marco’s damaged face attempt to twist in confusion when he heard the quiet but guilty words escape Annie: “I’m sorry.”   
It took a while but eventually Marco’s left eye widened in realization, taking a step backwards. Armin witnessed the scene unfold before him: his love stood still, peering at her combat boots, and his friend stared at her, now knowing that she was the perpetrator of the pain he was sent through all those months ago.   
She whispered her apology again, nothing more, nothing less. Marco stared some more. Armin noticed something change in the freckled boy. He glanced down at the sling that held his broken arm and then back to Annie. Another heavy moment passed by but, luckily and surprisingly, Marco walked up to her, wrapped his free arm around her shoulders, and offered her a tight hug.   
“That’s okay,” he replied with a humble grin, a couple stitches shifting along with his lips.


	17. The Origin of Wisdom and Patience

May finally emerged, which meant that spring was in full bloom. No cold, no ice, no snow. Just warmth, sunshine, and flowers. Fucking finally, Annie thought to herself.   
May also meant that Armin completed his third year of college—and that meant that he had lots of free time on his hands which Annie was more than happy to fill up with.   
Her visits to the hospital slowly became less frequent. Hanji was glad to hear that the Female Titan wasn’t tormenting Annie as much as she used to. Although she would sometimes catch a low growl or a faint but furious scream; Hanji told her that the monster within her would never truly go away, she could only be tamed. So as long as Annie was happy and satisfied (and taking her medication) she wouldn’t hear too much from her personal demons.   
At this point, Annie decided, any change is better than no change.   
Over the past couple months, the crystal-eyed girl found herself having hobbies and making friends, something she’d never see herself doing in a million years. She became close friends with one of Armin’s other companions, a sweet girl named Mina Carolina who reminded her of another with bright blue eyes and cheering smiles. Annie developed a liking for playing instruments and sketching after listening to Mina play the flute and spotting a mural-in-the-making on a lonely brick wall. Goosebumps rose on her arms while hearing Mina’s melody and her heart stopped at the sight of sharp and proud angel wings spray-painted onto a side building with a very concentrated Jean Kirtstein at the bottom.   
This made her want to learn more about the arts; she figured it would be a nice place to get to know herself a bit more and show others what she was capable of, all the while remaining in the shadows. That was the thing about art or music or writing—you didn’t have to let the world know who you are, and Annie liked it that way.   
So she began to experiment with charcoal drawings and teaching herself how to play the violin; it was a lot harder than she thought it would be but still she was totally enchanted by other people’s work that it only pushed herself harder to get her own work done.   
One sunny morning, as Annie sat up in bed and quietly sketched out a lit candle while Armin lied beside her and traced little circles on her bare skin and watched her draw, Annie yawned behind her hand and then set her sketchbook to the side.   
“Waking up early just to draw is never a good idea,” she huffed, snuggling into Armin, disappointed in her work.   
He chuckled into her unkempt hair. “I thought you were doing a wonderful job.”   
She snorted. “Whatever.”   
He groaned dramatically as he slowly rolled on top of her. “You are hard to please,” he mumbled into the crook of her neck.   
A tiny smile curved upon her lips when she stretched her neck out further. “Not with everything,” she replied in a sly tone, wrapping her arms around his shoulders.   
Her heart soared when she felt him smile against her skin and continue to trace her body with ajar lips, breathing her in like a warm candle. She always felt like this whenever he touched her, like her chest was about to explode in a fiery gust of sparks and colors. She adored this feeling and didn’t want it to end. Sadly, it did just that as soon as Armin sat up, bringing Annie with him, her grip on him still firm.   
For a moment, the two soulmates stared at each other, foreheads resting against one another’s, Annie’s long eyelashes lightly brushing against Armin’s cheekbones. He smiled at the touch and placed his hands on her waist.   
“I told my grandfather that we would visit him today,” he said.   
“When?” Annie asked as she turned slightly toward the alarm clock on the nightstand. 8:48 AM.   
“Before lunch, he said. He told me he was going to prepare something special, but I highly doubt it’ll be edible. My grandfather is good at many things, but cooking is not one of them.” He sighed theatrically while Annie burst into a fit of giggles, earning her a big kiss on the side of her head.   
“We still have some time,” Annie purred, locking her fingers in his messed-up hair and closing any space between them. Armin opened his mouth to protest, but she quickly occupied it with her own lips, lifting herself on her knees so that she was above him, pushing down on him.   
She felt him pause for a second, but only for a second. He finally kissed her back and the sweet moment lingered on. She didn’t know how much time had passed of them running their hands along each other’s skin or how long their lips stayed connected like melting hot glue. However, she knew it wasn’t long enough, even when Armin broke away from her, lifted them both off the bed, and then stated, “Seriously though; we should get going if I have the possibility of saving lunch.”   
Annie pouted.   
They proceeded to get ready for the day—including Annie swallowing down her daily pills—before walking out the front door, hand in hand. The walk to the old man’s home took longer than she expected but it was worth it when they finally made to the peaceful residence of Mr. Arlert.   
The house appeared just like all the other houses here in the suburbs: small, rectangle-shaped, one floor. Mainly built out of bricks and stone. A cement porch outlined the front door and window with a long wooden swing at the end. Small bushes containing red flowers sat in a tiny soil patch in front of the house.   
Again, the structure looked like every other house on the block. But she felt somewhat at ease here; she wasn’t sure if it was the porch swing or the blooming buds, but nevertheless, she felt peaceful and blissfulness.   
She let Armin guide her up to the entrance. He tapped his knuckles against the door and then turned to smile at her. “I think you’ll like it here,” he said. “Granddad’s really excited to see you.”   
“You say that about everyone you want me to meet.”   
The dull yellow door opened then, silencing any argument Armin tried to bring up. A tall man (well, about an inch or two taller than Armin, at least) with a bushy grey beard and a wooden cane stood in the doorway. Annie instantly recognized the family genetics between the two men. The ocean blue eyes, the thin bones, the heartwarming smiles. It was almost like she was looking at a future Armin Arlert with greying hair and wrinkled skin.   
“Armin, my boy,” the old man greeted, raising one arm and wrapping it around his shoulders to pull him into a hug.   
“Hi, Granddad.” He returned the embrace and then stepped to the side to introduce Annie, who suddenly felt nervous. “This is Annie Leonhart.”   
She stared at the ground to prevent the men from seeing the stupid rouge color on her cheeks.   
“We meet at last, Miss Leonhart.” Armin’s grandfather went for her hand; to shake it, she thought, but instead, he clasped both of his wrinkly hands over her smooth one. He patted it gently with a small smile across his thin lips. “Armin was right—you do have the loveliest eyes.”   
At the same time when Annie mumbled out a timid “Thanks”, she saw Armin jolt and blush embarrassingly from the corner of her eye and exclaim loudly, “Alright, Granddad! I’m so glad you said that! You mentioned you were preparing lunch today?”   
Shortly after that awkward exchange, Annie found herself in the living room, examining all the comfy furniture and simple decorations. Armin was telling her a story about his parents as she held a picture frame that contained a blonde woman, a brunet man, and a six-year-old Armin, all holding hands while skipping down a sidewalk. She smiled faintly at how wide and how blue little Armin’s eyes were when his grandfather walked into the room and said, “Armin, would you mind helping me with the casserole? My legs are getting a bit tired.”   
The boy straightened up and nodded. “Of course,” he replied before heading to the kitchen.   
Annie set the memory back on the white mantelpiece where she found it. She turned to face Mr. Arlert, who was slowly lowering himself into a sturdy rocking chair in the corner of the room. He then glanced up at her and gestured toward the loveseat to his right.   
“Please, take a seat,” he insisted. “Make yourself comfortable.”   
She paused for a brief moment before strolling over and sitting down. Her eyes continued to scan the area curiously, but they stopped when Armin’s grandfather said, “Not much of a talker, are you?”   
With the same emotionless expression she held on her face, she crossed her legs, placed an elbow on her thigh, and rested her chin in her palm, her gaze finally falling on the old man. “I guess not.”   
He smirked, his cheeks crinkling at the action. “That’s quite alright. Well, luckily for you, I don’t mind doing all the talking.” He chuckled lowly while Annie’s lips twitched a bit.   
She glimpsed at the skinny vase standing on the end table that sat between her and Mr. Arlert. All it contained was a single red flower, just like the ones outside in the front yard. It was flat and its scarlet red petals were long and skinny, much like a daisy’s. But it wasn’t a daisy—she hadn’t seen this particular flower before—and she leaned toward it a bit to get a closer look.   
Mr. Arlert noticed this and plucked the plant from its display. “This is a gerbera flower,” he explained, brushing his thumb over the tips of the petals. “My wife was obsessed with gardening and knew everything about it. In fact, she had one of these in her hair on the day we first met.” He paused to smile at the memory. “When I asked her about it, she told me what it was and said that it resembled innocence and cheerfulness. The red color, she hastily added, added passion and strength and determination to the mix.”   
Annie nodded her head once and then opened her mouth to say something, but the old man rose a finger and both of his eyebrows at her, bringing her movements to a halt.   
“Ah, but there’s a point to this seemingly pointless story.” He then did something that Annie didn’t see coming: he began plucking the petals off the gerbera and letting them drop to the rice white carpet below, reminding her of bloody tears against soft snow.   
He must’ve got some reaction out of her because he stopped to smile gently at her before tugging off a few more petals until only four remained. He held the now damaged flower in front of her and continued his lesson.   
“When I stepped closer to her, I noticed that only four petals were on the gerbera. So, being my nosy self, I had asked her why she wore such an injured flower—I said it wasn’t full, it was missing several pieces. And then she gently touched the remaining petals and looked at me. And what she said next I’ll never forget. She said, ‘Broken things are often the most beautiful creatures. They have seen things beyond our imagination, survived long and brutal wars, and have the scars to prove it. Their points-of-view are interesting and very wise and their souls are the kindest ones you’ll ever cross in life.’ She smiled a little before she repeated, ‘Broken things are often the most beautiful creatures.’”   
Mr. Arlert peeked at Annie through the open gaps in between the narrow petals. “Wouldn’t you agree, Miss Leonhart?” he asked, giving her a knowing wink, which surprised her a little, even though she recollected the time when Armin had called practically everyone he knew to inform them of Annie’s arrival and past experiences.   
But still, she somewhat agreed with the statement, although she felt different about one little detail.   
Broken things don’t always look broken—sometimes they look as good as new.   
Luckily, before she could answer, Armin came into the living room (more like planted his feet in the kitchen while his blond head poked through the doorway). “Lunch is ready!” he announced in a loud and cheery voice so adorable, that Annie couldn’t bite back her affectionate smile and quiet laughter from escaping her.   
“Excellent,” Mr. Arlert replied, grinning up at his grandson. “Thank you very much, my dear boy. We’ll be there in a moment.”   
Armin nodded understandingly before spinning back into the kitchen to make any final preparations.   
Annie watched Mr. Arlert gently placed the now broken gerbera in the tiny vase on the end table, back in its home, and the small blonde thought that the flower looked just as beautiful as it did before it lost some of its pieces. She only realized it to be true when the wise old man smiled and said, “Well, why don’t you look at that? It’s whole again.”   
At that, she brought back her thoughtful smile, her chest swelling in utter delight.   
“Yes. Yes, it is.”


	18. Epilogue: It's Just the Beginning

**Hello, beautiful brains! Now I know “epilogue” is a scary word for some of you (it is for me, at least, even with my own story), but I promise everything will be alright. I’ll explain at the end. For now, enjoy the final chapter of Home.** 

The best thing about the ocean, Armin decided, was the sound. Sure, he undoubtingly loved the smell of the salty sea rising into the warm air and the feel of the soft sand in between his toes. But the mystifying sound of the crashing waves against the large, bumpy rocks held him captive for the past twenty minutes, the same length of time that he and his friends had found this excluded beach.   
Long story short, Eren came up with the idea to take a road trip down to the nearest beach with the whole group sometime in the summer before he and Mikasa joined the military and, more than likely, had to be dispatched across the country. The trip would be around seven hours long, they would need at least three hotel rooms, and they needed plenty of money for food, souvenirs, and other activities they wanted to do. But, by everyone pitching in their own allowances and the more-than-generous offering Grisha and Carla Yeager gave to the young adults, they had reached their goal and began to eagerly pack their things.   
The journey itself was far more interesting than Armin could’ve imagined. The frequent stops at gas stations (mainly due to Sasha and Connie’s inability to stay in one place for too long), never-ending hills of green grass, and the constantly repeating songs on the radio gave them something to talk about (other than how excited they were to get to the beach). They traveled in three different cars—Armin, Annie, Mikasa, and Eren in one; Marco, Jean, Sasha, and Connie in another; Mina, Thomas, Hannah, and Franz in the third. Somehow, Sasha had gotten a hold on some walkie-talkies and handed one to each group, insisting that this be their way of communicating with each other whilst on the road. They did use them, but over time, all that came through the small speakers of the walkie-talkie were chaotic laughter and Connie’s occasional dazed questions like “Is brushing your teeth the only time you clean your skeleton?”   
Such comments caused thoughtful silence to follow and/or Mina’s stifled giggles, like a hand was clamped over her mouth to keep her from ruining the unspoken brainstorming session.   
Armin blinked at the sound of a joyous scream ahead of him, snapping him back to reality. He caught sight of Mina and Annie by the shore, staring down at the salty water encircling their ankles, clutching each other’s hand as they braced for another small wave to splash against their legs. A chuckle nearly escaped him when he took note of the huge physical difference between the two girls. Mina sported a baby blue sundress that made her eyes pop and a wide straw-hat that sat atop her onyx black hair, flowing around her shoulders freely instead of being trapped in her usual pigtails. Annie, on the other hand, wore a tie-dyed sweatshirt and a pair of blue jean shorts. Mina had bickered with Annie over her outfit and Annie said it was comfortable and didn’t see the point in getting dressed up to go to a beach. He remembered the way Mina stuck out her bottom lip at her, like an impatient child, and told her that she at least had to fix her hair to make herself feel better. After arguing for another ten minutes, Annie gave up and let the stubborn girl do a fishtail braid in her lemon colored hair (which looked marvelous on her).   
Armin’s eyes traveled throughout the rest of the calming shore, finding out what his other friends were up to: Hannah, Franz, Sasha, and Connie were way out in the ocean, the girls sitting upon the boys’ shoulders, trying to push the other off (eventually Sasha shoved Hannah into the blue sea, unleashing an obnoxious battle cry into the sky as she did so); Thomas and Marco (now cast-free) were in the middle of building a massive sandcastle—it came up to their knees and contained high towers and drawbridges.   
From the corner of his eye, Armin saw Eren and Jean actually getting along for once—they were bouncing a giant beach ball to each other like a friendly game of volleyball. That’s how it started anyway. Eventually they became more aggressive and let their competitive sides show, practically shoving the colorful ball back and forth until, finally, it slammed against Jean’s face, causing him to fall back onto the soft sand which made Eren howl with laughter.   
And last but not least, he spotted Mikasa sitting on a striped beach towel, sporting a pair of sunglasses as dark as her long charcoal hair while attempting to read a book that Armin actually recommended to her, but he did see her almond-shaped eyes occasionally glancing up at Jean and Eren, to make sure that they weren’t starting any serious trouble no doubt.   
Armin took in a deep breath, inhaling the refreshing scent of the salty sea, before stepping further into paradise.   
The rest of the week was just like the first day the group of friends arrived at the beach: absolute bliss. They explored the small city that surrounded the beach—shopping at tiny souvenir shops, eating at seafood restaurants, renting bikes to pedal down the boardwalk by the busy seaside. They laughed, chatted, jumped, smiled, and spun; they let their personal rays of happiness burst through them like how fat raindrops poured from the gigantic, grey rainclouds overhead.   
Armin often found himself thinking about his parents, wondering if they too were gazing at the blinding sun, watching it sink into the deep blue sea as a half-crescent moon stepped in to replace the sleepy sun.   
Now the enchanted dreamer stood at the seashore, feeling the warm waves splash against his calves and soak his sandy capris before dragging itself back toward the rising moon. He stood alone; the others were back at the hotel, getting themselves a good night’s sleep so they could feel refreshed for the long journey home. Armin informed Eren and Mikasa that he was going to watch the ocean one last time; his friends nodded in understanding. “Have fun,” Eren said at the same time Mikasa told him, “Be careful.”   
Although it was plenty dark outside and the beach was vacant of any other human life, Armin found the scenery all the more beautiful. He could still feel the warm water encircling his legs, hear the calming sound of the crashing waves, smell the salt in the air, and watch the reflection of the moon ripple across the ocean’s surface.   
He closed his eyes and smiled, a small laugh escaping him. The ocean, being here, was everything he imagined it would be, possibly even more. He knew that it would be nearly impossible to take away this feeling of pure happiness and peacefulness.   
Just then, he felt a pair of small, warm arms enfold around his waist from behind. The owner of the arms placed their chin on his shoulder, pressed their body close to his, and then murmured into his ear, “You didn’t tell me you were coming here.”   
Instantly realizing who it was, Armin interlaced his fingers with Annie’s, leaning into her hold. “I just wanted to say goodbye to the ocean.” He sighed contently. “It’s so beautiful.”   
“It is.”   
The two blonds gazed out towards the open water, listening to the waves, sniffing the air. “I never got to thank you, you know,” Annie spoke up suddenly; her grip on him tightened and he knew that this was difficult for her to say.   
He turned his head to the side, catching sight of her whipping hair (which was still entangled in Mina’s fishtail braid) and pale forehead. “What for?”   
She buried her nose into the fabric of his shirt, something he always found undoubtedly adorable (but she’d always turn away with an irritated huff and a tint of pink cover her cheeks whenever he’d point it out so he dared not say a word). “For everything. For bringing me to the beach, for taking me to see your grandfather, for helping me when I needed it.” She paused. “For letting me into your home.”   
At that, Armin twisted around in Annie’s embrace so that they were facing each other; he delicately cupped her face in his warm palms and rested his forehead against hers, smiling slightly. “But you are my home.”   
He felt her cheeks tilt up in a slow smile and then her lips press against his. They let Annie’s kiss linger on for a little longer than they both anticipated while the wind danced through their hair and the ocean waves lapped at their ankles. That feeling rose inside Armin’s chest—it always came whenever Annie touched him. Butterflies fluttered about in his stomach, his heartbeat picked up to incredible speeds, he felt as though he couldn’t get enough oxygen into his lungs.   
He held back a laugh. How can she still have this effect on him? They had known each other for quite some time, but she still made him feel like every time was the first time.   
Their lips slowly departed and their eyelids slowly peeled open. The sweet exchange left both participants filled with joy and delight. At the sight of the tiny smile upon Annie’s face, Armin decided that now was a good time to finally give her the gift that he’s been meaning to for a long time.   
“Hey,” he said, “there’s something I want to give you, if that’s alright.”   
Annie’s sincere smile turned into a mocking smirk. “I hope it’s not that nasty crab Jean found earlier.”   
Armin laughed out loud. “No, it’s not; I promise.” (That morning, Jean discovered a small fiddler crab scrambling along the sand; all the young men gathered around the little creature and stared at it in complete awe and interest while the girls either avoided it like the plague or just wasn’t interested, with the exception of Sasha, of course, who closely observed the crab with both horror and fascination.)   
“All right,” Annie replied in a sarcastic tone. “I guess that’s okay then.”   
Armin cracked a smile before reaching into his back pocket. He pulled out the necklace that he had gotten what seemed like centuries ago—the one with the leather strapping that held a small diamond-shaped crystal that contained a drop of a brilliant sky blue color, only a shade lighter than Annie’s irises.   
He brought the necklace up between them, cradling it in his palm. Annie looked down. She stared at it as her fingers hesitantly grasped the rock and held it up closer to her face. She gently stroked the smooth crystal and felt the rough leather while Armin explained to her how he acquired the piece of jewelry.   
“I got this before you came back—actually, I believe it was that same day—but I spotted it in a shop window and it reminded me of you.” Here he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “Well, I didn’t know it then, but I figured it out shortly after…you-know-what happened.”   
He knew that Annie still wasn’t comfortable talking about her failed suicide attempt or her slashed wrists (the skinny and pale stiches still held her skin together in all sorts of odd angles encircling both her wrists) so he tried not to bring it up unless absolutely necessary.   
She continued to gaze at her gift, completely ignoring his stumble of words. Her hands touched everything the necklace had to offer (which wasn’t much) like she was searching for something. For a terrifying moment, Armin thought she didn’t like it.   
But his terror quickly switched to confusion once she began looking at the sand around them, mumbling under her breath, “It’s missing something…”   
“What do you mean ‘it’s missing something?’” Annie glanced up at him, quiet for a second before asking him, “Do you still have that seashell you found earlier?”   
Armin blinked. “Uh, yeah, I think so.” He dug around in his pockets until his fingers came across the familiar curved edges of the cracked seashell he discovered snuggled into the wet sandbanks. He happily collected it and later showed Annie the little assortment of chipped seashells.   
He handed the shell to Annie, who carefully took hold of it and closely examined its wavy features and tiny holes scattered about its structure. Armin was about to ask again what she meant by that something was “missing”, but his question was finally answered when she silently responded by slipping the seashell through the strap until it clanked against the crystal.   
Annie looked down at her new necklace with a small smile. “There. Now it’s perfect.”   
His own lips tilted up in a relieved but still puzzled smirk. “Uh, that’s great, honey. But why did you need the seashell?”   
Just then, Annie began to tie the strap around the back of her neck, forcing Armin to bite back a gasp and leave his hands grasping slightly at the air between them. But he didn’t admit to her that he actually wanted to put the necklace on for her.   
“It’s like Mikasa’s scarf, right?”   
The question caught Armin almost completely off guard, causing him to blink wildly a few times and cough into his fist. “Mikasa’s…”   
“That red scarf she’s always wearing? It was Eren’s before he gave it to her on the night of her parents’ death, right?” Annie finished tying the leather strap behind her neck and then looked down at the crystal and seashell, cupping them in her palm. “Well, I think she wears it because it reminds her of him, of everything he’s done for her. The crystal reminds me too much of me so I needed your seashell to sort of even things out.” She glanced at him, fingers curling around the seemingly precious objects. “I like the necklace is what I’m trying to say. Thank you.”   
He smiled softly as he gently gripped her hand, the one that held the necklace, and said, “Of course, my love” before pressing his lips against her narrow fingers. He pulled away slightly, studied her half-lidded eyes, and then added, “But someday I hope you will look at yourself as how I look at you.”   
Annie smirked, snorting a little. “What, with fear in my eyes?” she teased, weaving their fingers together and then guiding him back to the hotel.   
Armin chuckled. “I’ve done no such thing!” he replied sarcastically. He heard Annie’s bubbly giggles by his side as he turned his head back toward the ocean, watching the waves roll by, listening to them crash against the shore. He smiled. He knew that he would miss this, the sound of the ocean, but he also knew that he was happy to follow Annie, wherever it may be. What he didn’t know, however, (nor did Annie) was that two homeless titans were still on the streets searching for his precious love or that his best friends would see and do horrible things in a few weeks to come, when they would willingly follow the military’s path to the utter chaos of war.   
And he never expected to know that Annie’s only parent was sobering himself up, finally clearing up his infected mind and setting out to find his warrior daughter. 

**Yay! Happy ending with a huge cliffhanger! (Sorry.) I left it that way because I wanted to know if you guys wanted a second story or not. I’m in the process of writing many stories right now, including this potential sequel. I’m done with my college classes for the summer so hopefully I’ll get more stuff and thangs done and posted for you guys before school starts again.   
Eep!! I’m really excited for you lovies to see the stories I got for you! I have more anime stories, Home’s sequel, and I’m currently doing a collab with another author (it’s her first piece of work) for an Attack on Titan AU with everyone’s favorite ships and some pretty awesome OCs. Let me know your thoughts on my first fanfiction piece and I’ll even take requests from you guys. It can be more Aruani or more Attack on Titan or even other fandoms if you want. I’ll add it to my list and start typing away! (Except smut or lemons—sorry, I feel like I have to take a shower every time I read those.)   
Anyway, thanks a million for your support and interest in reading my story. Amazing people like Kit_Arlert, Mesq, and zahraa helped me continue with this piece and their kind and thoughtful words really touched my heart. Every viewer, every commenter, every follower has my respect and I love you.   
But Aruani will never die! Keep your eye out for our favorite blondies and more stories from me! Keep reading, beautiful brains!   
Sketchy Tepe OUT! *snaps fingers and flies into the wind*


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